Healing the Past
by That70sshowlova
Summary: Due to experiences as a human, Bella's turned cold and slightly bitter. Until she meets a family of vampires and reunites with someone from her past. Old wounds resurface. Can she find solace in the arms of another vampire, who's had a traumatic human life as well, and forgive her old friend as well as come to terms with her human life? Femslash.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's** **Note**: I have a couple of the chapters written and I'm just testing this out. It really depends on the feedback I get on this if I continue. I'm a bit unsure about this story and I'd like your opinion on if it's worth continuing.

Also, as I said in the summary, this story is femslash. It's Rosalie/Bella because their fanbase is small. I'm aware this pairing makes no sense. It was never hinted in cannon that these two even slightly liked each other, but for some unfathomable reason, I love this pairing. I love it so much more than Alice/Bella.

Enjoy! Reviews are lovely.

_Prologue_

I don't understand. Father calls me a harlot, and I have trouble not believing him, that's what children are supposed to do—listen to their elders, but I haven't a clue why I'm being called such names. I cry, both from the pain of the welts on my back and the emotional pain of the Lord being disappointed in me.

Father is sick. His forehead is hot to the touch. Father doesn't believe in doctors, saying that the good Lord will take care of him. Father has enough energy to deliver my beatings, though. The whip of his belt on my flesh is so _hard_. I'm surprised at the strength he has. I suspect that the angels give it to him. He is always physically exhausted afterward. He wishes not to see my face after he has delivered a beating, but I insist. He cannot do much without me.

My brother is out working. He keeps the roof over our heads and food on our plates. God mustn't be that disappointed with me, he still blesses each day by giving my brother the strength to take father's place in the world.

My mother passed not long ago, and I have taken over her role. I always cook and clean, but now I have to do it all day, along with taking care of Father. I fear he is taking the toll of her death. So deep in love, he cannot bear to be parted from her long.

The sun will set soon, but I must go to the market to cook Father dinner.

"Isabella!" a voice calls. A male voice. I jump at the loud noise, but ignore it. I know who it is, but Father has ordered me to ignore him. To never associate with him. I will listen to his words. I want to appease him and the angels. I don't wish to be punished again.

"Isabella!" it repeats. My eyes skim over the produce, trying to find the freshest ones. Father deserves the best. Truly, he is a good man. He listens to the Lord. He's only trying to help me, even if it hurts dearly. His hand touches my arm and I flinch away from him, but his hand is still planted firmly. "Isabella, didn't you hear me calling you?"

I look up at him and he lets go quickly, embarrassed. It would be rude to tell him the truth. Do I talk to him, or no? If Father found out he would be most disappointed.

"Hello, Christopher." I decided to talk. It is the polite thing to do. Christopher is the son of an older couple who go to our church. He is older than me, but his maturity level is that of a boy younger than I. I know he fancies me. I do not reciprocate these feelings. Christopher is very kind. His childishness is part of his charm. He's on the shorter side, with blond hair and dark eyes. He's sweet, but I am not looking for a husband with Father the way that he is.

He smiles at me and it lights up his whole face. I smile politely back, but I am on edge. Father knows of this, of whats happening right now. He's angry with me. I'm going to cry. He follows me as I shop all though I really wish he wouldn't.

Christopher is always so eager to please. He helps carry my groceries to my house and leaves when he helps me put them inside. My brother is leaving the house after Christopher departs. The sun has set. It is his duty—now that Father is sick and can no longer—to rid our town of the Devil's creations. Creatures of the night that feed on blood. He is brave and selfless to take on this job.

"Isabella!" he cries joyously. He sweeps down (he is a great deal taller than I) and pulls me into a hug. "I am happy I did not miss you."

I beam up at him. I fleetingly wonder how he could love one such as me. Surely Father has told him of my wrong doings—whatever they are. "I am so proud of you. Be careful."

He smiles. It is fake.

"What is wrong?"

The smile slips from his face. "How do you always know what I am feeling?"

"You're a horrible liar."

He shakes his head. "No, dear Isabella, that would be _you_."

I give a small laugh. "Right. Do not avoid the subject. What bothers you?"

He sighs and slumps to the ground. I want to scold him—he's going to get his clothing filthy, but tonight is his first hunt, so I suppose he will get the clothing torn to shreds anyway.

"What we are doing is wrong, Isabella. They convict many innocent people, but they will not listen. I tried to explain to Father what was happening, but he accused me of the Devil stealing my mind. I can only hope that with myself as leader, we will find real abominations."

I sink to the ground, careful not to get dirt on my dress. I brush his hair from his face. He looks much like Mother. I have taken after Father, which I know he is not proud of. He is ashamed of me and the things that I do. I am not perfect though, which he understands, but I could be better, which is what he and the angels try to teach me. I try so hard to be what they want me to be, but no matter what I do, they are still disappointed. Tears spring in my eyes.

"Everything will be all right. You are smart and resourceful. You will find these dreaded creatures and send them to Hell, where they belong. I believe in you."

He smiles at me, but it is strained. I help him stand and hug him. He looks down at me, the flesh between his eyebrows creasing like it always does when he is worried or thinking. "Isabella, I have a dreaded feeling." I do as well, but I do not wish to discourage him. He slips something from his trousers and presses it into my hand. "I want you to have this."

I stare down at it, surprised. Its was his wooden cross. Mother gave it to him as a child. He was frightened of thunderstorms and this calmed him down. He always has this on him, saying it reminded him of our mother and he felt like her presence was with him when he was fearful. I look up at him, too shocked to say anything. He wouldn't give this up. Never. Especially if he is as frightened right now as he sounds.

He nods, as if knowing what I am thinking. "I have a terrible feeling. If something happens to me, Isabella, I want you to have this so you're always protected. I know the Lord protects you as well, but it would give me peace of mind. Please."

I nod silently and hug him swiftly. "Don't speak of such things. You _will _come back. Father and I need you. Thank you."

He nods and departs, the crease still between his eyebrows. When I get inside I set the fruits and vegetables aside and go check on Father. As I suspected, he is angry.

"The angels have spoken to me, Isabella," he murmurs. I tremble. Oh, Lord, please, _no_!

I collapse to the ground, my body quivering with fear. "Please, Father, I do not know what I did wrong. I will do better, please—"

He shakes his head and he stands up. His face is deathly pale and shining with his fever. He looks like he will pass out any moment. His eyes are twitching, flickering back and forth across the room. He is mad. Completely and utterly _mad_! "The angels are telling me you need to be punished."

I scream out in pain as each lash is delivered. I am called horrible, degrading names. He calls me a harlot. A bloody _whore__. _He collapses to his bed and I crawl to mine, my tears making my vision blurry. I tuck myself into a ball on top my bed and beg the Lord for mercy and guidance.

It does not come.

My brother does not return the next night. Nor the next. I begin to worry, but do not express this to Father. His mind is overcome with fever.

His body is not recovered and I fear the creatures of the night have stolen him. He has been taken from me forever. I express my grief at night, the only time I have to myself. I must now take care of Father while peddling for money.

The thought of selling myself passes through my mind, but I do not wish to disappoint Father, even to provide food for us. He would rather have food from begging than the food of a whore.

Father dies shortly after my brother. I am alone now. I wallow in self pity. This is my punishment. I have sinned and now I must pay the consequences. I cry in anguish freely now. This is when Christopher proposes the idea of marriage. He says he loves me deeply and that he could support me, a beautiful maiden. I decline. I do not wish to live.

It is night and I am walking as I wallow in my pity. My loss pains me so as to where I do not care for the danger. It is dark. A candle lights little around me, but enough as to where I think I see something. I freeze in my steps, but then continue. For a fleeting moment I fear that I am developing the fever that stole Father. He always raved about voices—other voices, not the angels nor mine or my brothers. But then I see her.

I let out a yelp. A woman. A _beautiful _woman. Her skin is so pale it seems to glow. It looks smooth as glass. Her lips are like two rose petals. Her hair is as blonde as the sun and curls down to her waist. Her eyes, though, are what have me captivated. Two black pools of ink are where they start, then a crimson crescent that fades to more ebony. It strikes me that I must be in love. I ache to please her, in any way she wishes. The bible says this is sinful, and I blush at the thought of lying in bed with another women. It's not proper. If Father were still alive, he would have beat me until I died from the pain.

A part of me is telling me I should be fearful of her, but I do not. She is death, I know. I no longer fear death. I welcome it. Even if it is an eternity in Hell. What could be worse than the life I am living now? Yet, somehow, I want to live...just for this women. This is mad! Then I realize she is manipulating my mind somehow. I do _not _wish to live, but this women is making me want to. I dispel these thoughts of living.

I stare at her evenly, and she does back.

"Are you the Angel of Death?" I finally question.

She laughs. "Of sorts."

I nod. "I am ready."

Her eyebrow raises. I do not think it is possible for an eyebrow to raise gracefully, but hers seems to do so. "Why is that, child?"

"My life is living Hell and I wish to escape it. Please, I beg you, kill me," I plead. My mother is dead, my brother is dead, and so is my father. I'm a disgrace and I have no reason to continue to be on this earth.

She looks at me, probing me with her beautifully frightening eyes. "What is your name?"

"Isabella."

She repeats it and I feel beautiful as she does so. "You intrigue me, Isabella. I do not wish to kill you."

My legs give out and I am reduced to a sobbing heap. "Please," I beg.

"No. I will not kill you, in a sense. I would like to give you a second chance at life."

I look up at her. "I do not understand."

"This might hurt," she warns before attacking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! Thanks so much for the positive feedback. I woke up in the morning and checked my email and was completely blown away. I was like, "Where the fuck are all of these emails coming from?" Turns out it was fanfiction. I was ecstatic. Thank you so much!

P.S. Thanks to the most amazingest beta I've ever had in my life: Dominick Gillig. This would be shit without her.

* * *

The bar wasn't crowded. It was a Wednesday night, rarely anybody came to the bars on Wednesdays. It was the why he came. He couldn't very well have somebody that he knew see him, even if he was in Port Angels, which was far from his hometown. He had just received his beer when he saw her. She walked into the bar, declining a drink and sat down, her eyes glued to the TV.

She crossed her left leg over her right, causing the hem of her blue dress to ride up just the slightest bit. Her dress flared out at the waist, flowing around her. He was unused to seeing clothes that weren't skin-tight. Her skin was pale, the color of snow. Her lips were a bright pink and her eyes were large and expressive and an odd shade—almost—black, no—no, in the light, you could see a hint of brown. Her hair was a rich coffee-color and stopped at her waist. Her slender finger rose to brush a lock of hair away from her face. He unabashedly stared at the movement, mesmerized. She was beautiful. No, an angel. His sole attention was on her, he couldn't hear the buzz of conversations anymore, he hardly noticed the flashing colors from the TV of the football game, the people in the bar didn't matter to him anymore. All that mattered was her.

His heart nearly stopped when she caught his gaze and smiled. He smiled back, widely. She giggled at his expression. His sweaty palms lost their grip on the bar and he fell off his stool. She gasped and stood up, but he was already up, blushing hard.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concern lacing her words. Her voice was as beautiful as she was.

He was stuttering, and blushing on top of it. He was so annoyed at himself. Couldn't he get it together? Where was his charm? The easy-going nature that made everybody love him. How dare it evade him when he was around a pretty girl!

"I—I—yeah. I'm good, I'm fine—Just great, actually. Honestly, not a scratch on me—" He suddenly shut up and looked down, embarrassed.

She smiled. "That's good to hear."

"I—yeah, that's—uh—definitely—yeah, good to, um...hear," he replied, rather stupidly, he thought.

She giggled. "I didn't catch your name," she said.

He gasped. Why would she want to know his name? He wasn't worthy of her. She must be famous, a movie star, with at least six model boyfriends with washboard abs who worked for Abercrombie and Fitch. Sure, he was charming. He definitely had a way with the ladies, or at the very least, people in general, but he was a burnt out middle aged man while she was still young and...perky. He tried not stare at the region of her body that fit the description.

"Um..." What was his name again? "John...it's John...Hi, I'm John!" He held out his hand and she laughed again.

"I'm Bella. Are you from around here?"

He couldn't believe it. Not in the slightest. Here she was, this innocent, beautiful, _angel_ talking to him. "Yeah, born and bred. I'm the Pastor around here, actually." He hoped to impress her.

He had a wife and three kids; it must show on his face. It was hard not to miss the wrinkles on his face and the bags under his eyes. He was old, whereas she was completely untouched by time.

The thought of his family made him bitter, and he wrapped his fingers around the neck of his beer. He had three kids, a girl and two twin boys. They just...just didn't learn! No matter how he enforced it, they wouldn't listen. No matter how many lashes they got, they still sinned! Didn't they know God was disappointed in them? God told him to punish his children for being so sinful. His eldest—his daughter—was a whore. She had grown tall and filled out well, and she was always staying out late. What in God's holy name was she doing? Certainly not studying like she claimed!

He came to the bar occasionally to drown his anger in alcohol. He didn't do it often, and asked God for his forgiveness.

Something flashed in her eyes, but he didn't notice. "Are you religious?" he asked, eager to know if actually had something in common with this mystery girl.

"I am," she informed. "I'm Catholic."

He smiled charmingly—there it was! "I can't say I've seen you around here, Bella."

Something flashed in her eyes, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The thought was completely disregarded when she brushed up against him. "No, you haven't. I'm just passing through for the day. I have some parents living around here."

"Really?" he asked. "Who are they? I'm sure I've heard—"

"Oh, they don't matter," she said quickly and sharply. She smiled at him and he dropped the matter and focused on drinking her beauty in. "How old are you, John?"

He wanted to curse. He couldn't lie to her. He could barely form a coherent sentence in front of her, let alone a good enough lie that went undetected. "Forty."

Her eyes lit up and she took a step closer. "I _really _like older men," she whispered in his ear. "Do you want to come back with me to my hotel room?"

He would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. He'd be lying if he said his stomach didn't lurch in excitement. He would be lying if he said he didn't shout out yes and practically pull her out of the bar.

She grabbed him by the hand and he threw a couple of bills on the counter before eagerly following her out. He didn't notice how fast she was driving, mostly because her hand was massaging his thigh. Holy mother of G—

They took the elevator and she pushed him up against the wall and pressed her lips against his. He urgently moved them against hers, but was left kissing air when the elevator door dinged and opened. She pulled him by the wrist out of the elevator and down the hall to her hotel room. She slid the key card in the door.

"I've never met anyone like you before," he said as she closed the door and led him to the bed.

She smirked up at him. "I'm sure you haven't." He fell onto the bed and she crawled on top of him and leaned into him, inhaling the smell of his cologne, he presumed. Her tongue darted out and slid down his neck to the pulse point. This wasn't right. He had a wife, whom he promised to love and to cherish unconditionally, though she was the last thing on his mind at the moment. _Oh good heavens! _What_ did she just do with her tongue?_

"You smell amazing."

"T-Thank you," he stuttered. His heart was picking up quickly in anticipation. This beautiful woman wanted him. _Him! _A forty-year-old, who, lets face it, was balding. This could _not _be happening.

She grinned wickedly. He had thought her so innocent, yet here she was, tugging at his shirt. A thought occurred to him, although he really wished it hadn't.

"How old are you?"

She pulled back and smirked. "Old enough."

His anxiety immediately disappeared and she found the pulse on his neck again. He felt her teeth and he inhaled sharply. Her cold breath blew out, and goose bumps rose on his skin as he shivered. She bit hard, and he let out a groan. Her hand rose to his mouth and clamped down, muffling the noises he was making. He didn't understand why until she bit down even harder and he screamed as she sucked the blood out of his veins.

She pulled back, her eyes a bright ruby red.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Hi, guys. Sorry it took so long. My beta's been busy. She's at a wedding. But she found a wifi spot and helped me fix this up. It would be complete and utter shiiiit without her.

Dominick, did I do okay? I changed a lot of the dialogue around.

* * *

_"Pastor John Webber has been missing for two weeks. Forks Police Chief, Charlie Swan has closed the case. Sarah Webber, the victim's wife, expresses her grief. She has declined the invitation of her, her twin boys, and eldest daughter appearing today, but would like to thank everyone for their condolences. There have been two breaks in at—"_

"Good riddance," Edward commented and rolled his eyes as he shut the TV off.

Esme's frown deepened. "Why do you say that, Edward? I feel terrible. Sarah Webber's a good person and so was her husband."

Edward admired his mother's kind nature. Her heart reached out to any living creature, even when she herself, was not one.

Rosalie cocked an eyebrow at her brother. "Finally agreeing with me, Edward? Filthy wastes of space, that's what they are."

Esme narrowed her eyes at her daughter. "Rosalie!" she reprimanded. Rosalie shrugged, not apologizing.

Jasper cleared his throat lightly. "Esme, John Webber was a pastor who believed his children to be sinning when they dropped a hat. He punished them, often. His wife, too. Angela, his daughter, is extremely withdrawn. She doesn't participate in conversations and isn't comfortable around people. I can feel her pain. She's always so afraid..."

Esme furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, as if the thought of such evil in the world had not occurred to her. "But he's a pastor."

Edward's voice took on a dark tone. "I've heard his thoughts. He thought Angela was having sex with every human male she laid eyes on. He thought his wife was being unfaithful and his twins didn't take God into consideration enough. He beat them with his belt," he finished bluntly.

"Do you know what happened to him? Have you been following the report?"

Emmett spoke up. "I overheard the humans talking about it at school. They were saying how they heard around town that he was with some hot brunette in a hotel. No one knows who, though." He grinned at a sudden thought. "What do you bet he keeled over after she took her top off?"

"Do you think she killed him?" Esme questioned, ignoring Emmett's last comment. Of course Esme, being slightly older than the average elderly person, had learned lessons that not everything was rainbows and unicorns. Her own husband had been abusive as well, but she learned to let go of her grudge through love. Rosalie was abused sexually—before she changed—although she had not been so quick to forgive. She knew things happened like this, but to know it happened in such a small, quaint town. And a pastor, a man of religion, doing it no less. It was just over whelming.

"Three cheers for her if she did," Rosalie remarked.

They assured her, whatever this girl did—if she did anything at all—it was a good thing. Sarah, Angela, and the twin boys could live without fear.

"I should make Sarah something. I'm sure she won't want to be cooking with her...loss," Esme murmured to herself.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose and joked, "The woman just got a second chance at life and you want to poison her?"

Rosalie wasn't completely heartless. She knew her mother was having a hard time comprehending that something like this could happen. Esme smiled appreciatively. Being wed to a religious man such as Carlisle, she had talked over the afterlife with him. He restored her faith in God after living with such an abusive husband, and losing all hope. But now, hearing that this pastor beat his children, for no good reason at all. Of course, she knew Carlisle would never do anything of the like, but had he been beaten?

"I think I'll go buy some pre-made pies and a casserole and warm then up and deliver them to her. Would any of you like to come with me?"

Emmett offered to take her and help pick out the food, claiming that he was "kick ass at that type of shit". Esme smiled at his upbeat attitude and the two left for the grocery store.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Rosalie asked her brothers and sister. She had no special talent, unlike her siblings who could read minds, predict the future, and sense and manipulate emotions.

"She's feeling worried," Jasper murmured.

"About whether Carlisle was beaten by his father," Edward filled in.

When Esme came home, she nearly burnt the casserole and melted the pie to a puddle. She didn't realize that the pie was supposed to be kept cool, not baked. Throwing that away, she found a box of peanut butter cookie mix which she picked up on her weekly outings at the grocery store. They had to keep up the pretenses. They bought nonperishable, mostly, and donated them to the local soup kitchen or food drive.

"I don't think they're supposed to look like that," Emmett commented, cocking his head and poking the rock-hard cookies.

Esme shot him a look. "How would you know?"

Emmett shrugged. "I don't. Cafeteria food looks and tastes like shit. I don't have a lot to go on." Esme scolded him for swearing, but he just grinned.

Edward peered through the two's shoulders. "I'm sure you cooked them fine. They look exactly like the picture on box."

Alice pranced into the kitchen and shook her head. She prided herself on executing things perfectly. She thought she acted the most human out of all of her family, aside from her father. "Do we have another box?"

Esme slumped disappointedly against the counter. "In the cupboard."

"It's probably a good thing you ruined them," Edward consoled as Esme dumped them in the garbage. "Angela's allergic to peanuts."

Esme glared at her eldest son. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Edward shrugged. "It's not like her brothers couldn't eat any."

Alice finished the dough quickly and began scooping it onto a cookie sheet, then popped it into the still burning-hot oven. She set the time and frolicked out, calling behind her to let them cool for twenty minutes before putting them on a plate.

Alice and Emmett went with Esme to bring the food to the Webbers. They were the most empathetic with humans; they were the ones who interacted most with their class mates. Alice knocked on the door, as Esme's hands were full.

"Can I answer it this time, Mommy?" a boy's voice questioned.

"No, Isaac-" a woman's voice answered.

"Mom," a quiet voice cut in.

"It's not him...he wouldn't knock." A pause and then a sigh. "I know, I know, but still."

"What if nobody's there again, this time?" Isaac, they presumed, asked.

"Just answer the door first."

The door opened tentatively and a blonde woman peered through the crack nervously. Esme smiled in a soothing manner and Sarah invited them in.

"Thank you for the food," Sarah said as she walked out of the kitchen empty handed.

Alice swiped her hand at the air as if to brush the comment off. "It was the least we could do. Pastor Webber was a good man," Alice lied, trying to comfort the dejected woman in front of her. "We're very sorry for your loss," she finished softly.

"No we're not," Emmett whispered, too low for the others to hear. Esme shot him a look and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we're not."

"They haven't found a body, but it's still very sad. We're all very worried," Sarah said, her face creased with concern. "Thank you for the food."

"Not that we feel like eating," muttered Angela as her eyes nervously darted back and forth around the room. She felt like this was a joke. Like her father was playing with them. She kind of wished he was, that we would walk into the room and yell, "just kidding," but at the same time, she hoped he never came back. It was also rare that the Cullens ever interacted with them. Sure, Esme was always kind to them, chatting politely, but her kids always kept to themselves. She was the only one feeling like that, though. Because Isaac and his twin brother Joshua ate the chocolate chip cookies enthusiastically.

Alice, having remembered the conversation they overhead when they knocked, spoke. "May I ask who dropped the food off before us?"

Sarah looked confused, but nodded. "Somebody knocked on the door but there was only lasagna on the steps. It was kind of unnerving."

"Did they leave any note?" Alice asked in a curious voice, her eyes wide and innocent.

Sarah shook her head. "No, there wasn't. I assume it was a woman, though. I could smell her perfume. It was very strong. Like freesias and strawberries and something that smelled a little like...rust? I'm probably wrong about that though." She gave a nervous laugh. "It smelled a bit like blood."

All three vampires stared at her and she shook her head, embarrassed.

"I could be wrong."

Joshua let out a loud squeal of laughter before Esme could respond. While munching on their cookies, Emmett had taken up the task of entertaining the children, practically being a child himself. Joshua hung off Emmett's back and Isaac begged to be next.

"We should go. I hope you like the casserole." Esme gave a look to Emmett, who immediately let Joshua down on the couch.

Sarah saw them out, and Joshua and Isaac waved timidly to Emmett as they all left.

"Blood?" Alice brought up the subject once they were in the car. "Why would it smell like blood?"

Emmett cocked an eyebrow. "The murderer felt a little sympathetic?"

"We don't know if he was murdered," Esme reminded.

"You don't think it could be a vampire, do you?" Alice asked. "You'd think I would have seen it."

"It doesn't affect you personally, Alice, so it's not unlikely that you didn't see it," Esme soothed. Alice nodded slowly, her nerves calming. It wasn't often Alice didn't see something. It was a scary thought.

Emmett shook his head as he pulled his jeep up the driveway. "Besides, if it was a vampire, I think the dogs would know ab—" He cut off short, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

Edward opened the car door. "Sam Uley and his pack have come over to the house. They think they've spotted a vampire and are accusing us of making it."


	4. Chapter 4

"How dumb are you, dog?" Rosalie snarled. Her chest rose reluctantly, so she could talk, but the stench of wet dog made her want to puke up the blood she recently drank. "Just because there's a vampire in town, it automatically connects to us?"

Emmett nodded his agreement. "Yeah, that's kind of racist, man."

Jared's nose was wrinkled in disgust in the same manner the vampires was. "Why else would a vampire be in town?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at his stupidity. Esme spoke up before Rosalie said something snide—again. "He's young, he doesn't know the ways of the pack yet."

Edward nodded. "He's recently turned, they're the only two in the pack."

Jared narrowed his eyes, his chest heaving in anger. "Stop reading my mind!" It had been informed earlier that Edward had that special ability.

"Look, we've seen a vampire and we don't know why it's here. Did you break the treaty, or not?" Sam broke in. He set his hand on Jared's shoulder to calm him down. He hadn't quite gotten control over his anger yet. He flipped when there weren't any Doritos left in the bag.

Carlisle was stuck in surgery, but they all desperately wished he were there.

Edward spoke up. "No, we didn't Change the vampire. We request that you don't harm the vampire, though. I'm sure Carlisle would like to talk to the vampire and send him on his way. He hasn't done harm to humans yet, has he?"

"But if he does," Sam started to say.

"You have our permission to kill him," Alice said. "We want to protect the humans just as much as you do."

"Sam," Jared whispered. "What about that missing man on the news? What if it was, you know, the blood sucker?"

Emmett snickered and sang, "We can still here _you_." He drew out the last word and ended it in loud laughter.

Jared scowled and raised his voice. "And what if the leech killed the Webber man?"

"You don't have proof," Esme said. "It could have a been a human for all you know. Or he could have just ran off."

"Not likely," Jared snapped.

Rosalie cut in with an exasperated sigh. "For fuck's sake! If it was a vampire who took a chunk out of Webber, then by all means, tear the bastard apart. Now, get. Out. Of. Our. House." She stood up and opened the door for them. "Off you go, over grown mutts."

Esme looked apologetically towards the wolves and scolded Rosalie. "Really—"

"Oh thank God!" Jared cut her off and ran out of the house. He exploded into a ball of fur and shot into the woods. Sam nodded stiffly towards the Cullens and left after him, also shifting and running into the forest.

"About Goddamn time," Rosalie muttered. "I can't deal with the stench of this place. I'll be in the garage." She didn't wait for a response and closed the door behind her. "Fucking wolves," she grumbled on her way out.

Alice sat on the couch, her nose still scrunched up. The dogs' smell was so overpowering. "Why would Sarah be able to smell the blood, though?" she asked more to herself than the others. With a mind reader in the house, there was no point in thinking inside your head. "Was the vampire drenched in it?"

Esme spoke quietly. "Maybe he wants to be found out."

Emmett snorted. "That's stupid." He winced, realizing how brash that sounded. "I mean...well, no, that's stupid."

Edward rolled his eyes. "What Emmett means, is why do you say that?"

Esme looked at them with large, hopeful eyes. "Well, maybe he knew there were vampires in the area and he he's trying to draw attention to himself. Like a middle child."

Alice shook her head. "We all admire your positive attitude Esme, but he's probably a messy eater and had blood all over his clothes. When you're a nomad, you don't change until you have to."

"_Or," _Jasper chimed, "Maybe Sarah has a strong sense of smell for blood being around that abusive—"

"Dick wad," Emmett finished.

Alice smiled and patted Esme's shoulder, who looked sad. "It's going to be all right, Esme. The vampire will be captured and won't hurt anybody else."

"The Webbers will be fine, Esme," Jasper soothed. Esme visibly relaxed. "Without that—"

"Dick wad," Emmett mad-libbed helpfully.

Jasper continued, "Around, the Webbers will be much happier."

Esme smiled. "Thank you, Jasper."

"No problem, Esme."

One by one, they drifted from the room. Emmett to the garage, because he loved staring at Rosalie's ass bent over the hood of a car, even though they had tried dating already and Rosalie claimed him too childish and couldn't believe that she actually wanted one of those things to take care of. Edward went to his room to listen to music, or as Emmett suspected, masturbate. He _did _go through an awful lot of socks...Jasper hid in Carlisle's library, even though Alice _hated _when he read Civil War books because he always got so _angry_.

Alice stretched out on the couch with a sketchpad and a pen. Esme sat at the end of the couch, Alice's feet on her lap and flipped through the TV channels, humming quietly.

Alice closed her eyes and then opened them again, her pen scratching the paper loudly. Closed, open, scribbled. Closed, open, scribbled. Closed, open—"Damn!" Alice muttered. "Her nose is _all _wrong."

Esme looked up from the TV questioningly. "Who are you drawing?" Esme knew how to draw, not quite as well as Alice, but she might have been able to help.

Alice had the pen cap stuck in her mouth and her eyes were closed again as she shrugged. "I don't know, actually. She came to me in a vision."

"Human?" Esme inquired.

Alice nodded. "It's the weirdest thing though. She's wearing such _old _clothes. I'm talking fifteenth century."

"Does she have brown hair?" Edward asked from upstairs. He was standing next to her a couple of seconds later. "Short, brown eyes, long hair?"

Alice nodded slowly, a puzzled expression. "How do you know this?"

"Carlisle thinks of this woman sometimes. His recollection of her is clear for a memory so old. I've asked about her once, but he said he didn't want to talk about her. It made him sad, he said." Edward glanced down at her paper. "You're right. Her nose _is _wrong." He pointed his finger and traced her nose. "It's thinner."

Esme shifted Alice's feet and stood up to look at the page. The picture was a basic outline. Her eyes were wide and brown, her nose was small, and her lips were full. Her hair curled in loose ringlets around her heart shaped face.

"She's pretty, isn't she?" murmured Alice. "Not stunning, but pretty."

Esme couldn't help but feel jealous. She _was _pretty. And she looked kind, too. Her eyes were intelligent. And more importantly, she meant something to Carlisle. _Her _Carlisle. Did he love her? Had he been lying about the way he felt towards her and actually loved this stupid, dead little _tramp_?

Edward choked a little and looked at Esme, surprised. She would have blushed, if she could. Her jealousy disappeared and all she felt was guilt. She looked away from Edward and focused on the picture.

Who _was _she?

It was a week later when they found out.

"You stupid mutts, get off me!" Bella screamed. She kicked and scratched, but their grips were firm. She had smelled the wolves and wisely steered clear of the native territory. However, that didn't mean they steered clear of _her_. She had her eyes set on a cute, shy looking blonde teenager when they ganged up on her.

She nearly had the blonde in her clutches. His name was Jeff and he was in college, he was from California, but wanted to visit Seattle. He stopped in Forks and planted his cute little butt onto a bar stool right next to Bella's. Just as she convinced him to take her to his hotel room, the most disgusting scent entered the bar and a hand clamped on her arm.

Bella looked up with hatred as she locked gazes with Sam Uley. She looked at Jeff and smiled apologetically. "I'm so sorry, but it looks like I have to go." Jeff looked crestfallen and Bella's anger grew. "Hey, if I make it out of this alive, look me up." A look of panic flashed across Jeff's face, but Bella was already out the door.

Jared had grabbed hold of the other arm with his wolf teeth and they started to drag her through the woods. Sam had changed when Jared had gotten hold of her and now they both had their teeth in her flesh. Bella was untrained when it came to wolves and their grips were _strong_.

"Let go of me you mangy little fur balls!"

They didn't let go and Bella soon lost her fight. She didn't know what they were going to do her, but she assumed it was going to be torturous. She was quiet and cooperative as they ran. She kept up easy, but the pain in her arms was hard to ignore. Wolf bites didn't kill her, but they sure did fucking hurt.

The torturous theory was soon thrown out the window when they continued to pull her through the woods. Sure, the dog smell and the pain in her arms was pretty bad, but they could do worse. It looked like they were just going on a road trip, so she sat back and enjoyed the scenery.

Wolves were fast runners, and they did make it to their destination in a short amount of time. Bella was surprised that they went through all that trouble to drop her off at a mansion.

"Aw, a gift?" Bella asked mockingly. "You shouldn't have!" The wolves let go of her arms and transformed. They were left naked and Bella's eyes widened. "Oh, is there more? I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to decline." Her eyes drifted and she smirked. "Lookin' a little small, there." She gave him a pitying look. "Oh, it's okay, baby...I'm sure there's someone out there who thinks its big...Maybe a midget?"

Sam flushed furiously. "Shut up, leech! It gets small when I'm cold!"

Bella snorted and rolled her eyes. "That all you got, mutt?" Sam yanked the shorts that were tied to his leg on and Jared did the same. Bella pouted. "Aw, well, I didn't say _you _had to cover up. You're kind of enjoyable to look at."

She had noticed the Cullens come out as soon as they arrived, but chose to ignore them and ridicule the wolves instead.

Jared blushed too, but visibly stuck out his chest proudly.

Bella rolled her eyes and set her sight on the Cullens. She raised her eyebrow at the wolves. "You're selling me to a bunch of vampires? Why? Little ickle wolfykins couldn't handle the big bad vampire themselves?"

They both trembled in anger, but tried hard to conceal it. "We caught it. Ask it your questions and if it did anything, then leave it to us," Sam grumbled.

Edward cleared his throat and shook his head. "We never agreed to let you kill her if she did it."

Jared glared. "Blondie and the short one over there—"

"Does not decide the decisions," Edward interrupted calmly. "We talked it over with the rest and we would like to explain it to her and if she doesn't listen, then you can kill her. There's no reason to kill her when she didn't know any better."

"It's our job!" Sam shouted.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yada yada yada. Shut your trap, mutt and listen to the ginger."

Sam and Jared backed up into the forest and the Cullens took it as a sign to introduce themselves. There were six—usually seven, but one was at work—and the town of Forks was their territory.

"You can't claim territory," Bella said as she crossed her arms. "The Volturi forbid it after the war."

"It's not our town, per se," Jasper explained. "However, we have a treaty with the pack of wolves that they don't kill us as long as we don't kill a human. We thought we should tell you so you could leave town."

Alice couldn't keep her eyes off Bella, but she called Edward in her mind and he nodded, understanding. This, of course, was the woman from her vision and Carlisle's memory. Esme noticed too, and couldn't contain her jealousy.

Bella narrowed her eyes, suspicious, but detecting no wrong, she relaxed and gave a gruff, "Thanks." Before she got the chance to leave, Alice spoke up.

"Who are you?" Alice asked frankly. "We introduced ourselves, but you didn't give us your name."

"Why should it matter?" Bella asked. "I'm leaving anyway."

Alice shrugged and smiled. "Write it off as curiosity. It's only polite for you to introduce yourself."

Bella stared at them, again, suspicious, before saying, "Jennifer Perry."

Alice shook her head. "No, your real name, if you please." Bella let the shock show on her face. "You don't look like a Jennifer," Alice answered her unspoken question.

Figuring Alice would know if she was lying again, Bella reluctantly answered, "Bella Cullen."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **I apologize for the wait. I had to rewrite this whole chapter, because as amusing at the original draft was, it was completely out of character. I know this story is already out of character, which I hope to change as the story progresses and Bella comes to term with her past, but what I had originally wrote was a little _out there_.

Well, I hope you like it, and I hope it doesn't read too forced, I had some trouble getting in the mood to write.

Thanks to the greatest beta ever: Dominick Gillig.

* * *

They stared at her until she was unnerved enough to snap, "What?" But they all ignored her.

"Cullen's a common name," Jasper interjected, always the voice of reason.

Alice shook her head. "She's the one I've been drawing! This is no coincidence."

"I'm calling Carlisle," Edward said.

Esme nodded in agreement. "That's probably a good idea."

"This doesn't mean anything!" Rosalie snapped. "She's one girl with the same last name as us, what's the big deal? The only reason Alice saw her was because she was passing through town. You guys are over reacting to this."

"Rose, she's important to us. She impacts our lives greatly, I can see it," Alice said.

Rosalie crossed her eyebrows, sending her a challenging look. "Oh yeah? What'd you see, then?"

Alice's lips pinched together. "I didn't see anything—"

"Exactly!"

"Psychically speaking. I can see it, though, right now, that she's important, just by looking at her!"

Edward snapped his cellphone shut. "He's on his way." He looked towards Bella apologetically. "Why don't you come inside?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Why should I?"

Edward shrugged. "You don't have to, but if you want answers..." He left his sentence hanging, allowing her to think it through.

Bella was extremely annoyed. Who did they think they were? Ordering her around and talking about her like she wasn't even there. Withholding answers so they could control the situation. It pissed her off. She was used to having the upper hand in conversations. _She _was the puppet master. It was only fair; she had lived before America was even America. How _dare _they try to take that away from her.

Bella huffed and crossed her arms, relenting. "Fine." She pushed past them and opened the door. The way she saw it, if they were going to act like this the very least she could do was be a bitch in return.

The house wasn't what she expected. As a nomad, she would rent hotels and buy clothes, occasionally even rent an apartment until she was done with the town, but this, she never even dreamed of. From the outside she expected an empty house, maybe some dead corpses throughout the rooms until they figured out a good place to bury them, but this house was decidedly permanent.

The front door opened into the living room. The sun filtered in through the glass wall and lit up the cream colored room, which was perfectly painted and not chipped in the slightest. There was a white leather couch and a love seat facing a flat screen TV. A sleek black piano sat atop a small platform in the room.

Her eyes refused to move from the shelves that lined the walls. Framed pictures occupied the space of the shelves. The pictures were all from school, the youngest vampires smiling brightly into the camera, the backdrop a cloudy blue.

She deemed them crazy. Absolutely nuts. How could they all stay in one house without getting possessive and killing one another? It was physically impossible. She had lived with other covens, the largest being three, and she had seen the way they would fight over food and clothes. Vampires were selfish, greedy creatures, yet here they all were, _living _together. She looked back at the framed photos and let out a breath, incredulous. She wondered how they did it.

Esme came up behind her and asked quietly, "Do you like it?" Bella looked back at her. Esme's eyes shined with pride as she gazed upon her home. "I fixed it up myself, with the help of my kids, of course."

"Kids," Bella muttered to herself, her voice high from disbelief.

"You should have seen it before we moved in. It's this thing I do, it's my hobby. I've made a career of it in the past, but decided to take a break for a while."

_Jobs! _she thought, amazed. _Jobs where they interacted with humans_. Bella got all of her money from pickpocketing, thievery, and selling things on eBay.

Bella looked at Esme again. She couldn't bring herself to say something mean. She didn't know what it was about Esme, but she had a feeling that if she was a bitch to her, it'd be like kicking a puppy. Completely unnecessary and incredibly heartless.

"Uh, yeah, it's great," Bella said. "Beautiful, really."

Esme beamed. "Thank you! Why don't you sit down?"

Bella collapsed against the couch, overwhelmed by this act of...humaneness. The closest she had ever gotten to acting human was when she was thirsty. Her acting skills were extraordinary when it came to seducing her prey.

The rest of the Cullens followed suit. Jasper and Alice took the love seat, Esme and Edward sat beside Bella, Emmett sat on the armrest of the couch and Rosalie leaned against a wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Where are you from, Bella?" Emmett asked conversationally, breaking the anxious silence.

"London," Bella replied, forgetting her anger and cooperating. When she said it, her accent slipped through and the Cullens shared a look.

"Oh, yeah?" Rosalie said. "When were you born?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Why do you care?"

Edward sent Rosalie a look and then spoke to Bella. "Just ignore her. We only want answers, Bella, just like you."

"Fine," Bella said. "Why are you all so interested in me?"

"Your last name is also our last name," Edward said. The way he said it made them realize how stupid that excuse sounded.

"It's a common last name. This is ridiculous!"

"You were born in London, right?" Alice stepped in. "So was our father." Before Bella could interrupt, she hurried on to explain. "I can see the future, it's my gift, and I've been drawing you. He thinks about you, too, Edward can hear it. We want answers as well, that's all. This is no coincidence. We're connected. You impact our lives greatly, I can feel it."

Bella stared at her, thoughtful. A psychic and a mind reader and they both knew her because their father knew her (She still couldn't believe it. They were a _family_.) Her mind immediately jumped to one conclusion, a conclusion she didn't very much like. It brought her hopes up, and she knew, when he didn't walk through that door, she would be crushed. She tried to push the thought out of her mind.

Her mouth spoke on its own accord. She refused to let herself hope. She refused to let herself hope that the one person she trusted to protect her might still be alive, that she still might not be completely alone.

"Who's your father?"

She hadn't heard him come in; nobody did. They were all too focused on their conversation. He had stood there, breathing in a familiar scent. He didn't want to believe it was true. She had been facing away from him, so all he could see was curly brown hair.

"Carlisle Cullen."

Bella gasped. "Carlisle?" She let herself hope.

Carlisle continued to look on at the scene. He couldn't deny that he recognized that voice.

"Isabella?"


	6. Chapter 6

Bella stared at her brother, a whirlwind of emotions swirling through her. Jasper was so uncomfortable, he left without a word, far away enough where he wouldn't feel anything, but he would still be able to hear the conversation.

Confusion was one of those emotions. Relief, happiness, anger, confusion again, disbelief...and then anger again. She stood there, the Cullens —her nieces and nephews? — surrounding her, all very confused at the situation, as they stared at each other.

Carlisle took a hesitant step forward. "How could this have happened?" he asked, his emotions conflicted, battling for dominance. Was he happy to see her "alive", or sad to see her undead? It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Bella laughed bitterly, a natural reaction that occurred when she couldn't deal with her emotions. "How do you think?"

He scowled. "I _know _how this could happen, but when? Who?"

"I could ask the same for you," Bella replied, crossing her arms expectantly. "I thought you were dead. I thought you left _just like Mother!_ Just like Father did soon after." She shook her head, disbelieving. "I always suspected. I always thought the monsters had taken you, but I wouldn't let myself believe it, because you wouldn't have left me with him if you were still alive!"

Carlisle's face flashed with anger. "I was protecting you! I could have killed you!"

"You were a coward!" Bella snapped. "I needed you! Obviously I needed you," she whispered and then wiped at her eyes hurriedly. "Look what happened."

"You had Father," Carlisle insisted. "He would have protected you. You don't understand, Isabella—"

"It's Bella!" she yelled, angered at the fact that he didn't know, that he _should _have known. "I go by Bella now."

He sighed. "Bella, I tried. I went through the transition, thinking of you and Father, and when I was done, I went to visit you...but your blood..." He laughed humorlessly. "I was so close to killing you. I would have ripped your neck out and wouldn't have felt remorse at all! Because I was a goddamn _monster_."

His coven stared at him, surprised at his outburst. He very rarely swore. They hadn't heard him talk so passionately in a long time.

"I trusted you to protect me," she whispered, brokenly. "When you died—" She choked on the word. "No, when you _left_, I had to take care of Father all by myself. I," She choked again. "I thought about becoming a prostitute, I was so desperate for money to take care of myself and Father."

"Christopher did not court you?" Carlisle asked, astonished.

Bella shook her head. "I wouldn't allow it. He was too good for me."

Carlisle stared at her. "He was too good for you?" he asked in disbelief. "You were too good for him."

"I was a whore!" she shouted. "No man should have been with me."

"A whore?" he questioned. He took a step forward and curled his hands around her forearms. "Why would you say that?"

She jerked her arms backward and shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"It _does _matter," Carlisle insisted.

Bella wiped her eyes hung her head. "I missed you." Carlisle was about to snap at her to not change the subject, but she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him desperately.

He hugged her back, tightly. "I missed you, too."

Carlisle and Bella's emotions died down and Jasper returned to the house with the rest of the coven, whom were all looking onto the scene, confused and dying for answers.

"So, um," Emmett started. "Did you guys, like, bone or something?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Idiot. They're _family_."

They pulled apart, neither really knowing where to go from there. Emmett could pick up on that, so he continued the joke, hoping to ease the tension.

"Really?" Emmett questioned. "I'm picking up a lot of unresolved sexual tension..."

"Shut up," Bella said, reluctantly grateful, her eyes rolling. "That's the most disgusting thing I've heard in my four hundred years."

"Should we call you Aunt Bella?" Alice joked weakly.

"Fuck no," Bella said.

Carlisle looked down at her, a little sadly. "I'm glad you can stand up for yourself, but Christ Bella, what happened?"

"I—"she stuttered. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bella," he whispered. He sighed. "When you're ready, I'm here."

She smiled. "I know."

"Carlisle," Esme spoke up. "We're all very happy for the two of you, but do you think you could explain?"

Carlisle pushed Bella lightly by the shoulders in the direction of his coven, a boyish smile gracing his face. "Bella, have we made introductions yet?"

She grinned at his enthusiasm. "Not officially."

"This is Edward," he pointed to the redheaded mind reader who initially pissed her off. "my first son whom I changed in the early nineteen hundreds."

"Son?" She looked up at Carlisle questioningly. "This is your family?" Her voice took on a sad tone.

Even though they had been separated for centuries, they had slipped into an old routine. They had always been close. They didn't need Edward or Jasper's abilities to be able to tell what they were thinking or feeling. He knew she was jealous at the fact that he had found people to share his undead life with, while she had stayed solitary.

"Isabella, it doesn't mean anything. You're still my sister, I didn't replace you."

She glared him, masking her embarrassment at acting like such a child. "Whatever. I'm fine. Go on."

Alice bound up to them, dragging Jasper behind her. She held out her hand. "I'm Alice and this is Jasper. We joined the coven in 1950." When Bella grasped her hand, Alice tugged her forward into a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet you! Carlisle's talked so much about you—Oh, wait. Um...yeah! It's so nice to finally meet you!"

Emmett was the next to give a hug, explaining that he was changed by Carlisle in 1935 after having been saved by Rosalie.

Rosalie had, for Carlisle's benefit, attempted to be civil. "I'm Rosalie," she muttered. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to hug her or shake her hand. Both Alice and Emmett had hugged her, while Edward and Jasper had shaken hands. So she held out her hand, only to turn it into an awkward hug, where she didn't know what to do. Did she pull back immediately, pat her back, squeeze her, what?

Bella made a face as Rosalie lightly tapped her back with her fingertips. Rosalie pulled back quickly and retreated to the corner of the room, embarrassed. She desperately wanted to like Bella, and for Bella to like her, again, for Carlisle's benefit. While Alice's hug seemed cute and quirky, Rosalie's was awkward and weird.

Esme was the last to be introduced, and Carlisle beamed as she stood in front of Bella and introduced her as his wife and mate. Bella was completely astonished and congratulated both of them. Esme proudly explained her story, saying how Carlisle saved her life from an attempted suicide. She had wrapped an arm around Carlisle's waist and kissed his cheek affectionately when she was done.

The Cullens -_Her coven?_ she wondered briefly- stared on at her, all very welcoming.

Carlisle ruffled Bella's hair fondly, she sticking out her tongue in retaliation, before he slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her to his side.

"Welcome to the family, Bella."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm not sure about this chapter. I like the beginning, where they were pissed at each other, but I'm not sure about the introductions. Kind of hallmark-y for my tastes.

Oh, and the whole Rosalie/Bella thing? All for you guys. I didn't want Rosalie to hate Bella, and I really don't think she would. In the books, the only reason Rosalie hated Bella was because she was giving up her life, but Bella's life was already taken from her, so how would they interact? Rosalie's not good with people and neither is Bella...so...it just turned into this weird mess that I was contemplating taking out. Oh, well. There should be more—less akward—Bellalie in the next chapter.

The whole thing with me writing sibling fics is it always turns out that they're acting a little _too _close. I have siblings, but I haven't been separated long enough as to where I would know how to react during a reunion, ya know? I just hope Carlisle and Bella didn't act like they did bone, as Emmett said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: **I was so hasty to update the last chapter that I forgot to acknowledge and thank my beta/friend for being awesome and beta-ing. Thanks Dominick. :)

I'm so happy you all liked the last chapter. I am flipping out. Every chapter I just get more and more subscriptions and reviews and favorites, it's so awesome! I have 175 subscriptions. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE PEOPLE ARE READING MY STORY! That's mind-blowing. I don't know why all of you are so interested—hopefully because my writing's awesome and not just 'cause you're looking for a girl on girl sex scene—but I'm so happy all of you are!

* * *

It was only a couple of hours later when he noticed.

She had changed. Obviously she changed, she was a vampire, but she was different...He didn't know how to phrase it, but as Carlisle studied her, he knew something had happened. Maybe it was their father's death, or _his _disappearance, he couldn't put his finger on it. Physically, she was the same. Her skin had always been pale, due to the lack of Sun in London, and her hair was still as long as always. She had built up a front for reasons unknown to him, and that he hoped he to be able get past. Maybe it was her eyes. They were so cold.

He had been so concentrated on the fact that his little sister was back in his life that he didn't take in the details. He completely over-looked them. Being a vampire, his brain registered the fact, but his mind didn't acknowledge it. He had been so happy...The happiness disappeared. No, not disappeared. He was still very much happy, but he was disappointed. He had assumed that she was resourceful enough to think outside the box, just like he had.

He sat up a little straighter and interrupted a conversation she was having with Alice.

"Your eyes are red," he stated.

Bella cocked an eyebrow at him. "Your point?"

"You drink human blood," he clarified. He knew that not everybody knew of their lifestyle, and when they did, they mocked it, but he never thought Bella one to take someone's life just to sustain hers. Bella had been so sweet as a human. She wouldn't have hurt a fly. Yet she killed innocent people to survive.

She was surprised at his outburst, but she quickly caught on. Their eyes were black, so she hadn't known. She had heard the stories. She even joked with vampires she had met how such a notion was absurd. For one to live off of animals' blood was such an outrageous idea. They were _monsters_; they might as well act like it. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that this was how they must find the control to live with civilization, together as a family.

She kindly requested that they explain.

Carlisle was the one to start. After numerous attempts at suicide, he settled on starving himself. He had holed up in a dense cluster of trees before his hunger overtook him and he attacked a deer. Edward had explained that he fell off the wagon, he had lurked in alleyways while scanning humans' minds and picking off the ones he deemed deserving of death. He soon went back to Carlisle though, not being able to live that lifestyle. Esme had also lost control, as did Emmett and Alice, but they all gained control over their hunger. Rosalie had never drunk human blood, although she had purposely killed, but would not share the story. Jasper's story was the one they all expected to win her over. He was, after all, still battling with his hunger, but with the help of his family he could overcome it.

While Bella found their stories intriguing and very heart-felt—although suspiciously AA-esque—she was unnerved as they all stared at her expectantly, as if she would be happy to renounce the way of life she had been living for the past four-hundred-odd-years.

"I won't kill near the town," was all Bella had to say.

What was she supposed to say, anyhow? It wasn't as if they would understand. She was seeking justice. She found it enjoyable, watching her prey and tallying up the reasons why they deserved to die and how it would ultimately help more than hurt. She would study them, find out what they liked and where they spent their time. On occasion, she would act like the victim, amused by the fact that her prey thought themselves superior, before ripping their throats out. The other times, she would be the seductress, playing on their interests that she had noted, before luring them into her trap.

Men like John Webber made her sick. It wasn't hard to figure out why. He had explained it away; that he was acting in the hands of God, but it was all lies. She had worn what had seemed to appeal to him, but with mortal men, a paper bag could have them drooling when it came to vampires. She had acted like she gave a damn about religion and had then driven him to her hotel where she proceeded to add to the questionable stains on the shitty comforter.

They stared at her in disbelief, but she had nothing to say.

"You have no right to play God, Bella," Carlisle said, his voice earnest rather than harsh. He was rarely ever angry when it came to her. After all, they were all each other had left. He placed his hand on her arm, desperate for her to understand. He wanted her to be a part of this family, and in order to do so, she needed to be able to control her hunger, which was hard to do on a human diet. But he did believe that she had no right to do what she was doing, killing people. But in all honesty, he wondered idly, did he have any right to do what he had been doing? He had been selfish, changing them, when they would have rather died—especially Rosalie—just to satisfy his loneliness.

Bella gave him a tight smile, knowing they needed to think this through, before gently tugging her arm away and standing up. "I should go. I have things to do and I'm sure you all do as well." She looked at her brother. "I moved to a new hotel, just out of town, if you want to contact me. I'm in room 3B, okay?"

"No cellphone?" Esme asked, hoping for an easier way to get in touch.

She shook her head. "Too traceable."

"With the Volturi, you're always traceable," Jasper said.

She smirked. "Good thing I haven't encountered them then, huh?" With that, she bid them a goodbye, giving her brother and his mate a hug before leaving.

The majority of the Cullens sat, shocked.

"I'm going out," Rosalie said abruptly. She stood up and made her way to the door before Edward stopped her.

"It's not going to work," Edward said.

"How do you know?"

"She's stubborn."

Rosalie looked at him over her shoulder, smirking. "I have my ways."

She caught up with Bella quickly, asking if they could talk alone. Bella nodded, wearily. They walked into the woods and once they were a safe distance away, Rosalie turned towards her.

"I want to help you."

"Help me?" Bella responded, incredulous. "I don't need help."

Rosalie sighed. "Why don't you just come back to the house and talk it over?"

"They understood why I left, that's why they didn't stop me, they need to think it over. They're obviously not comfortable with the fact that I drink blood and they won't be comfortable with me, either, until they come to terms with that. So, what are you doing here?"

The blonde huffed. "I care about him, okay? I want this to work. In order for this to work, you need to drink animal blood, understand? You won't be able to live with us without getting territorial if you don't."

She crossed her arms, defensive. "Who said I wanted to live with you?"

Rosalie glared. "_Please_. You haven't seen him in centuries; we all know you barely wanted to leave his side today."

Bella didn't say anything for a moment, before whispering, "I can't give it up. You understand, don't you? You had a reason to kill those humans. I do, too, I just happen to get a bonus out of it. They don't deserve to _live_."

"You can send in notes and the police will do something about it, you don't need to kill them."

"I want them to feel pain," Bella said darkly.

Rosalie stared at her, noticing how personal a matter this was. "Do you want to talk about it?" Rosalie asked, hesitant. Rosalie was no bitch. Well, she was, actually—she would be the first to admit it—but she cared for people. People who deserved her sympathy, anyway. Bella obviously did.

"No," Bella snapped. "I don't."

Rosalie nodded in understanding. "Okay." She paused. "But, you need to do this, for him."

Bella stared at the woman who had grown to know her brother well. She may know him even better than she did, which made her immensely jealous. She had gotten to know this new Carlisle, while Bella was stuck with remnants of the past. In order to be able to know her new brother, she would have to be able to live like him with him and his family without flipping. In order to do _that_...

"Fine."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: This chapter is dedicated to my inspiration and beta, Dominick Gillig. I looooove you!

Another thing, I'm so sorry for how long this took. I had writer's block and then when I sent it off to my beta, she was just suuuuper busy. With school starting and all I'm not sure how well this is going to work out. I'm going to try my best, though! I hope you like it, and I apologize for the late update, I didn't expect it to take this long to get to you.

* * *

They had been working at it for weeks, in secret. Bella had wanted it to be a surprise. It only hardened her determination when she had confronted her brother after leaving so abruptly. He had quickly apologized for upsetting her and told told her that he would be fine with her drinking blood as long as it meant he could still see her. He had finally gotten her back and he'd be damned if he lost his only sister again. Seeing him so willing to accept her lifestyle, so willing to make an _effort_, only made her want to change for him more.

But keeping a secret in the Cullen family never worked out. Soon after Bella had agreed to try, Alice had saw it in a vision, which Edward had seen in her mind. Then Alice told Jasper, who told Emmett. Bella intercepted quickly, telling the three men she would do something painful to their manhood if somehow Carlisle found out. And in order for Carlisle to not find out, they couldn't tell Esme. So most of the Cullens knew about Bella's plan to switch her diet, and each time Rosalie and her went out, one of the Cullens went with, because honestly? It was a little shady for Bella to be hanging out with Rosalie alone. Who in their right minds would willingly hang out with Rosalie?

As soon as Carlisle had apologized, it was settled that Bella would move in. So she took one of the spare guestrooms, the one on the second floor. She had chosen it at random, but she stuck with it because the color scheme of the room was yellow, and at that moment, yellow was her favorite color. She had all but avoided the red room, which Esme had originally picked out. Yellow made her think of her soon-to-be eye color, while red made her think of rushing blood, and not of the vegetarian kind.

So Bella endured day after day of endless torture. Every time she swallowed a mouthful of blood, whether it be from deer or bear—sometimes even squirrels or bunnies, but whenever Emmett came along, he screamed at her not to—she puked it right back up. The muscles in her stomach constantly ached, and she grew sick of the taste of her stomach acid in her mouth. Whichever Cullen that was there at the time would rub her back and tell her she was doing just fine or to breathe slowly, until she yelled at them to shut the hell up, because goddammit she was not in labor! She imagined animal blood tasted to her like what cough syrup tasted to children. No, not artificial cherry, but absolute and utter crap. She shared this with Rosalie once, who told her it was ironic, because Bella acted just like a child. That was when Bella stuck her tongue out and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Then came her first victory.

It was two weeks after they first started. Bella gave up human blood cold turkey, not wanting to go through the hassle of waning off. She was close to breaking, all the blood she had tried to drink coming right back up. Her skin turned ashen and there were dark circles under her eyes. Carlisle and Esme were concerned, but she waved it off. Rosalie and Emmett were the ones to take her out to the forest this time, where Bella had attacked an unsuspecting doe. She managed to drink all of it without throwing it up. Of course, it still tasted like crap, and she could her hunger wasn't satisfied like it was when she was drinking humans, but she kept it down and sustained her. Bella couldn't help but compare it to craving something really bad, like chocolate, but eating something else. Yeah, you weren't hungry anymore, but it wasn't what you wanted and you were still sort of craving the chocolate in the back of your mind. Emmett, so excited, pulled Bella into his arms and swung her around until Bella yelled that she just might puke anyway.

"Congratulations," Rosalie said, proud. She swiftly hugged Bella, who was still dizzy from Emmett's ride. She held on to Rosalie's shoulder as she pulled back. Rosalie gave her a questioning look, but Bella just held her finger up, waiting for the ground to stop spinning.

Bella sent a look towards Emmett before taking her hand back.

"We should celebrate!" Emmett declared.

Bella pouted. "Too bad alcohol doesn't have the same affect on us. What'd I do to get wasted right now..."

"We could still celebrate," he said. He paused, thoughtful. "Lets play Life!"

Because honestly, there was nothing better to do. There could be no celebratory dinner, unless the steak was so rare it was still alive. They couldn't get drunk, or high. Plus, Carlisle and Esme would come along, seeing as they weren't parental figures so much as friends, and they would wonder why they were celebrating. So, Life it was.

"You should go to college," Edward told Bella. "You'll get a better job if you go to college."

Bella made a face. "College is for losers. I actually _experienced _the Civil War, okay? Where do they get the right to make stuff up about it?"

Jasper gazed at Bella in wonder. "Finally, someone agrees with me!"

Alice face-palmed herself. "Now you've got him going."

The rest of the Cullens continued to play Life, while Bella and Jasper had a friendly conversation about the Civil War...that soon turned violent.

"They were a bunch of racist hicks!" Bella shouted angrily.

Jasper gasped, appalled. "Racist hicks? How dare you! You stupid British—"

"Guys, guys," Emmett interrupted, his palms faced outward in innocence. "Aro and I got married and you two didn't show. I am _insulted_. Are you going to miss the baby shower, too?" He crossed his arms, defensive.

They were too confused to continue fighting.

"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked.

"Baby shower?" Bella questioned.

Emmett rested the palm of his hand on his stomach. "I'm pregnant!"

"That's not possible."

"I'm adopting!"

Bella gave him an amused look. "Congratulations, you two..." Then something occurred to her. "Did you say Aro?"

Alice broke out into laughter. "He was always a little too flamboyant, wasn't he?"

"Don't let Aro hear that," Carlisle warned. "He'll sic the twins on you."

Soon, they all dissolved into laughter.

However, despite her improvements, she broke down a week later. Everyday they drank a little more blood, and she became used to the awful taste, and she was still able to keep it down, but it wasn't _satisfying_. It was still there, clawing at her stomach, taunting her. Her traitorous mind reminisced of the taste, the smell, even the feeling as it rushed down her throat.

Perhaps it had been unwise to walk out in the open without one of the Cullens with her, but she didn't like being cooped up in the house, only being let out into the forest. She wasn't a _dog. _She enjoyed the rush of running, and not long she ended up in Port Angeles. When the adrenaline died, she was consumed with the scent of human blood. She hadn't been around it so long, she forgot how good it smelled. Sure, she had the memories, but the memories were nothing compared to the experience. She slipped into the role of a hunter without even realizing it. In the back of her mind she remembered, she yelled at herself to stop, but the hunger didn't care. The hunger didn't give a _damn_.

She waited until it wad dark before tugging her top low, showing her cleavage. It was one of the shirts Alice had gotten her. She had insisted on shopping for Bella. She hadn't come with anything besides the clothes on her back. Her jeans fit snugly and her top hugged her curves. Her heels clacked against the sidewalk. It was that side of town where she knew someone would notice her, where it wouldn't take long for someone to notice her. Just as she was slipped into one of those allies where only the stupid heroines entered, three stumbling, drunk men wondered in.

"What do we have here?" the man on the right slurred.

Bella gave them a frightened look. She doubted they would even notice her facial expressions in this state, but hey, she was dedicated. "I—I was just leaving."

"I don't think you were," the one in the middle said. She appraised him. His voice was sure and she realized he wasn't as drunk as the others, perhaps only a little tipsy. He had done this before.

They did the back and forth, her pretending like she was trying to outsmart them. Finally, the sober one slammed her against the alley wall, and she started to plead. "Please, please, don't do this!"

"Shut up," the drunk one on the left snapped, trying to sound in control, but he was only a bumbling idiot.

Her adrenaline was pumping, thrilled at the chase. It had been five weeks since she killed the Webber man. She could barely contain herself, but she managed to stay in character. The sober one was turned on at her begging. Then he started tugging at her clothes, and she struggled. That was when he ripped her shirt, just at the hem, not all the way off. She was pissed. She really liked that shirt! Her act was now boring her. She stopped wiggling out of his grip. Then he found himself shoved against the wall. He was the prey now.

For a second, her grip on him was gone, and all he saw was a blur, then his friends dropped to the ground, their necks snapped. He gasped, but she was in his way again and all he saw was her red/orange eyes. She smirked, a sadistic look in those strange colored irises, before clamping a hand around his mouth. Not even a second before she sunk her teeth into his neck, he knew he was going to die. He didn't even get a chance to come to terms with it before his blood was completely drained.

He had given up a good fight, stronger a fight that she usually got. Her torn shirt was splattered with blood, she would have been embarrassed at how messy an eater she was if it were not for the two other humans left to occupy her time.

Their bodies were mangled, her hunger unusually difficult to control. It had been a long time since she had acted like this, but no matter. Her hunger was finally satisfied. There were no cravings, nothing gnawing at her stomach or mind.

Once the bodies were disposed of, she set off for the house. It finally hit her when she got to the front door. She could barely breathe, but she didn't need to anyway. She wasn't guilty, she would never feel guilty. They had planned to rape her, possibly even kill her, but the disappointment she was feeling crushed down on her until she was nothing but a bloody, teary mess on the porch. She had lost. The monster inside her won, and she lost.

"Oh, sweetie," a voice whispered sadly. Bella didn't look up, but Rosalie sunk down onto the porch anyway and wrapped her arms around Bella. "I'm so sorry."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry for the late update. Procrastination plus first year of high school equals very long time between updates. I sent this to my beta a while back and she got back to me on it, but she didn't send me the chapter back, so I'm just going to assume that it's all cool.

Kind of strays from canon, not that it already hasn't. My beta pointed out to me the way I wrote this chapter, it made vampires too human. Stephenie Meyer's vampires were more indestructible than Captain America. Who's a supersolider, if you didn't know. So...Like...Her vampires took too many doses of supersoldier serum. Vampires are still human, you know, they're just dead humans. Who have a liking for blood.

So...Anyway, I hope you like it! Your reviews give me lots of motivation, so I'm sure once this chapter has been up for a couple of days, I'll begin the next chapter. I might forgo betaing next chapter for a quicker update. What do you guys think?

Sorry that it's so short for how long it took.

* * *

What happened next passed in a daze, or as much as a daze could be for a vampire.

Her eyes were blurred with tears, her cheeks hurting from the continuous wipe of her hands. She couldn't see much, and she was too emotional to do much. Rosalie did everything. She pulled her to her feet and towards the bathroom, where she wiped blood away from her visible skin with a soft washcloth. Her hands were gentle and Bella couldn't help but idly think she would be a great mother. Once her face and arms were clean, Rosalie washed her hair in the sick, her fingers kneading her scalp and pulling at the tangles of clotted blood. Then Bella was ordered to take a shower and Rosalie left the room.

Bella tore at the clothes, knowing they would be thrown away and not really caring to take the time to pull them off. The shower made her feel better, the rhythmic pounding of the water against her skin, where it shed the blood. It swirled down the drain, along with any evidence of what had happened earlier.

Rosalie had a cup of cocoa waiting for her, and while they didn't eat human food, it still smelled good and she liked the heat. The warmth was welcomed, especially with her wet hair making her shiver. Rosalie left the room and returned not even a second later, and then she heard the furnace kick on. She smiled gratefully, her hands curled tighter around the mug, her nose bent close to the rim.

They were lucky enough to have the house to themselves. The boys and Alice had gone on a hunting trip earlier, while Carlisle and Esme had their designated "Get Away Day," having gone to a nice restaurant far away from the town of Forks and rented a hotel room. Bella didn't really care to know that last bit of information, having disgusting images run through her head.

They sat in silence, until Bella couldn't take it anymore. "You know I don't regret it, right?"

"Of course," was her automatic response.

Bella seemed surprised. "How do you know?"

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'm not _stupid, _Bella. Contrary to what you might think, I _have _gotten to know you."

"Oh yeah?" Bella questioned. "What could you possibly know about me?"

She raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Do you really want to do this?" When all Bella could do was nod, Rosalie continued. "Your favorite clothing choice is blue, your favorite color varies, you would do anything for you brother, you're stubborn, you stand up for what you believe in, you like to read..." Her voice trailed off and Bella wondered if she had ran out of things to say. Just as she was about to voice a smart ass remark, Rosalie continued in a quiet, hesitant voice, "And you were probably abused as a child."

Bella froze, but recovered rather quickly, laughing lightly. "Why would you say something like that?"

"You mostly go after abusive humans," Rosalie answered honestly. "I don't know how you do it, but you somehow seem to pick them out in a crowd. They seem to be your first choice, rapists and murders coming in at a close second. When you were arguing with Carlisle about your diet, you had this expression on your face...Not to mention you sometimes jump when people touch you, and if you don't jump, you get really uncomfortable."

Bella said, her voice even, "You're reading too deeply into things."

"No, I'm not," Rosalie said, unintentionally harsh. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes before opening them and resting them on Bella. "I was raped."

Taken aback, Bella asked, "What?"

"I was raped," she repeated. "It was when I was human. He was my fiance. I was on my way back from a friend's house and I passed by him, he was drunk. His friends were drunk, too. They started to take off my clothes a-and they all took turns. They left me there, on the brink of death." Her voice barely shook as she spoke. "I used to see his face when I closed my eyes, until I couldn't take it anymore. I took his life, wanting revenge, and his friends lives. But that was _it_, my revenge stopped there, but you keep going. You keep killing, and yeah, it may be for a good cause, but is it really up to you to decide?"

She was angry. "I already _told _you, they _deserve _it!"

Rosalie tried to set her hand on Bella's shoulder, but she shook it off. "Just listen to me, please?" When Bella didn't leave, she continued. "You need to get pass this, you need to deal with it. You've spent the past four-hundred years repressing this. Just tell me, _what did he do to you_?"

Bella's eyes started to water again, and when she spoke, her words were wobbled. "He was a _good _man. He was acting in the name of God. It was my fault, I was a whore and I needed to be punished."

Rosalie shook her head vehemently. "No." She forced Bella to look at her, her hands placed on her cheeks. "It's not your fault."

Confusion swept across her features. Through tears she asked, "Why are you quoting Good Will Hunting at me?"

Rosalie sat back, her hands dropping from her face. "What? Is that a movie?" she asked.

Bella stared at her in shock. "You've never seen Good Will Hunting?"

"No..."

"_Really?"_

"Yes, really!" Rosalie snapped. "Stop changing the subject!" She stared at her dead in the eye, which made Bella uncomfortable. "What he did to you _was not your fault_. He was not a _good _man, he was bad. He hurt you."

"It _was _my fault," Bella whispered. "I was a whore and God wanted to punish me. I wasn't learning, he was just trying to help me—"

Rosalie kept insisting no, while Bella kept saying yes. It ended in tears. Bella crying into her hands and Rosalie wrapping her arms around her shaking shoulders.


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING: **Un-beta-ed, so watch out, people!

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry, guys. I had writer's block. I started to write something, scrapped it, wrote something, scrapped it, gave up, and then I slowly wrote this chapter and it flowed pretty easily after a couple of paragraphs. I hope you like it. :)

* * *

Bella was never one to be caught with her walls down. She didn't like being vulnerable. Ever. Suffice to say the next couple of days were terribly awkward for her. Rosalie had something on her. Not only the fact that she cried, but her past as well. It was like walking on eggshells. If she snapped, Rosalie could tell everybody. Mainly, she kept to herself, only interacting with Rosalie when it came to training her hunger. Which still tasted like crap, but she wouldn't subject herself to her thirst winning again.

Her existence consisted of surviving. Of killing without getting caught. That took a lot of skill and it was exhausting. It wasn't much of a life, to be honest. Only living to survive. But animals weren't much game. Nobody gave a damn if they saw a dead bunny in the forest. Nobody would call the authorities and start an investigation. So she had a lot of free time, too much free time actually.

Her room was beautiful. Warm shades of yellow and a wall made of glass, which lit up the whole room. There was a cushy chaise lounge that she threw herself dramatically on when she was bored. It was right next to the glass wall, so she laid on that a lot, enjoying what warmth she could get from the cloudy sky. She took up reading, which she hadn't done in years. Well, since she was human, anyway. She had a lot of good books to catch up on and Carlisle had a library in this mansion he called a house. Yeah, a _freaking library. _Every time she went there she looked around for a librarian to check out her books.

While everybody in the house was very welcoming, she would rather be with her brother, who lived at work. It had been three hundred fucking years and he couldn't even take a damn day off for his favorite, and mind you, only sibling. She was put off. The only time he was there was spent with Esme. Like last time she needed her big brother, he was out with Esme. Whatever happened to the stereotypical married couple who hated one another? The crotchety old couple who always bickered. They were married since the forties. They couldn't bitch at each other all the time? What could she say? She was jealous and wanted her big brother all to herself. But then there were times she thanked God—who rarely ever dealt her a good card—that he wasn't around because all Carlisle reminded her of was _him_ and what Rosalie had on her and how she should probably talk to Carlisle about it but would rather not, because really? What was the point?

She was reading Alice in Wonderland when there was a knock at her door. "Come in," she called. The nob turned and Carlisle walked in. She cocked an eyebrow lazily at him. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Her tone was biting and he gave her a questioning look. "Never thought you to be a Company Man, Carlisle." She shrugged. "But then you were pretty insistent on following in Father's footsteps, huh?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes flashing with hurt and something that looked like anger. "You know I did that so we could have food on the table. You know I _didn't_ want to do that, how I felt about it."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, kind of feeling like a bitch.

He waved it off and stepped farther into the room. "It's okay."

"You've been gone a lot lately," she murmured.

"I love my job," was his response.

She slipped her bookmark between the pages and slammed the book shut. She sat up from the lounge, glaring. "More than your own sister?"

He sighed. "You know that's not true."

"It sure seems like it." She crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

His eyes lit, remembering what he came in here in the first place. "Oh, yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch." She snorted. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I mean, go out? Stay in? Spend time together? Anything."

She raised an eyebrow. "Isn't this the time you usually reserve for Esme."

"She suggested it, actually," he informed. "Which isn't a bad idea. I've missed you, Bella."

She pursed her lips. "There isn't much for tourists around here."

He eyes the book next to her. "There's a Barnes and Noble a couple of hours away."

She grinned. "Really?" He nodded. Just as she was about to agree, she paused, thinking it over. "I'd rather stay in."

His growing smile fell. "Oh." He half turned towards the door. "Okay. Well I'll just go then—"

"No!" she yelped. "No, stay. I need to talk to you." It was better this way, really. She would tell him and then Rosalie would have nothing on her. There would be no danger of some huge dramatic scene where she would, undoubtedly, storm out of the house and probably not come back until somebody forced her.

He took a step forward, uncertain, but she gave him a nod and in a few quick strides, he sat beside her. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Father."

"Father?" he asked, taken aback. "What about him?"

She looked up at him nervously. "He wasn't a very good man, was he?"

"Why would you say that?"

"When Mother died, he didn't fare well."

He gave her a confused look. "Well, that hardly merits him being bad."

"He was worse than he let on. Than _we _let on. He would rave of the angels telling him things, telling him that I deserved to be punished. That God was disappointed in me. That I was a whore, a harlot, you name it."

He sat very still. "What are you saying?"

She glared. "Are you really going to make me say it?" When he didn't respond, she barked out, "He hit me, you oblivious—"

"No he didn't!" Carlisle snapped.

She stood up quickly, and hovered over him, her face twisted in anger. "Are you calling me a liar? I wouldn't lie about something like this, Carlisle! Who do you think I am?!"

"He didn't hit you," he whispered weakly. "He promised."

She scowled and took a step back, crossing her arms. "Promised what?" He kept quiet. "Promised what?!" she demanded. "Tell me!"

"He promised that if I took the brunt of his anger—if I endured his beatings—he would never touch you nor mother."


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning:** Unbeta'd! Sorry for any mistakes.

**Author's Note: **I hope you enjoy it! If you get the chance, I'd love feedback. I like lengthy responses, but just a comment telling me if you liked it or not would be nice. Thanks!

I've been thinking about making a banner for this story, but I'm extremely lazy and I'm not very good at it. If anyone wants to make me a banner, that'd be cool. Maybe I can make it a contest. The prize could be the preview to the next chapter, or maybe the whole chapter super early. I'm a good artist (not bragging!), so maybe I could do a portrait of the winner's choice. Is anybody up to this idea? If I get enough people interested, maybe we could do it. I'm sure many of my readers are a whiz at Photoshop and know how to photomanip the shit out of a picture. :)

* * *

Bella had had a happy childhood, growing up in rainy London. Back then they had more outdoorsy activities, unlike today with kid's technology. She had always wanted to join her brother's games, even though it was unladylike. Her father may have been upset, but he never laid a hand on her. Oh no, that didn't come until later. Like any jealous older sibling, Carlisle refused to be associated with Bella, but he would let her join his games after the insistence of their mother. But Carlisle never seemed to flinch or act scared around their father as far as Bella could remember, which, mind you, wasn't very well. He certainly would never have hit Carlisle when he was in his early twenties. He had developed a lot of muscle and would have been able to defend himself well. Even the fact that she was considering such an idea was ludicrous. Why would he hit Carlisle when Carlisle never did any wrong?

"Why would you say something like that?" Bella demanded after a moment of tense silence. "Why would you _joke _about that?!"

Carlisle's eyes flicked to her in surprise. "Why do you think I'm lying? I thought you knew me better than to joke about something so cruel. I've lived for four hundred years, Bella. I've dealt with the abuse and I've seen another people abused. Why do you think I would lie about something so serious?"

"Why would he hit you?" she countered. "You were perfect. You were the perfect child. You didn't disappoint God. _I _did."

"I wasn't perfect," he whispered. "Far from it."

Bella shook her head, refusing to believe it. "No, I was the disappointment. Why would he hit you? I was the bad child."

"Why would does anybody abuse anybody, Bella?" He stood up and took a step towards her, but she took a step back. "Maybe he saw it as punishment for doing something wrong, _anything _wrong. Maybe it was just a way to take out his anger. I don't know. We didn't do anything wrong, Bella. We were innocent."

She stomped her foot in frustration. "But he said God—"

"He was unstable," he soothed. "An unbalanced man with anger issues."

"But—"

Carlisle took another step forward and enveloped her in a hug. She fought back against his embrace before collapsing against his chest and crying. His arms wrapped around her waist as she clung to him, her tears staining his shirt.

"What did I do wrong?"

He shushed her. "Nothing, Bella," he soothed. "Absolutely nothing."

They stayed in her room until what little light that poured through the glass wall disappeared all together. They said nothing, just enjoying the others' presence. She was sick of talking about it, even thinking about it.

It made no sense to her. How he could abuse them for completely different reasons. Carlisle took it to prevent his family from enduring it and Bella suffered in silence because it was a punishment. He hit Carlisle to take out his anger, he might have done that to Bella too, or he may have simply been crazy. He was getting up there in age and he was upset over losing their mother. Raving of angels and messages may have been a way to connect to his deceased wife and take out his anger at the same time. Neither of them knew why he did it. Carlisle was a surgeon, not a psychiatrist, so he had no input. Bella never even went to school. They couldn't explain his reasoning, they just had to accept the fact that it happened and they were the victims.

This had been what Rosalie was trying to tell her. Speaking of which, she knew she would never be able to back out of controlling her thirst now. She was determined now more than ever. She would not disappoint her brother, her brave brother who took the brunt of their father's belt to protect Bella and their mother. She wanted to live with her brother in a civilized manner, she wanted to go out in public and not be tempted by human blood, she wanted to go to school and become a surgeon or lawyer or, anything, because she could. She wanted to be human again. She wanted a life worth more than killing to survive.

Carlisle was called into work late into the night. He didn't want to go, but Bella insisted. It was what he loved. It was his way of giving back. Who was she to take it away from him? He left with the promise to set aside a day for them. Just as she was laying back down, Rosalie appeared at the door, her side resting against the frame and an eyebrow cocked.

"Are you up to hunting tonight?" Rosalie asked. She mentioned nothing about their conversation that no doubt, everybody heard if they didn't have the decency to leave. Which they probably didn't.

Not wanting to avoid the subject, Bella smugly told her, "I beat you to it."

"Beat me to what?" she asked, confused. She pushed herself away from the threshold and took on a defensive stance, not liking the tone of her voice.

Bella sat up. "I told him about what we talked about. You can't hang it over my head now. I owe you nothing."

"Owe me?" Her posture relaxed. She was incredulous and slightly hurt. "You think I would tell Carlisle about what we talked about—in confidence—as revenge. Revenge for what?"

Bella pursed her lips. "For whatever I may do. Either way, you have no leverage over me."

"_Leverage_?" Her voice took on a squeaky tone, far past incredulous. "Bella, we're friends. I would never do that to you."

She frowned. "Friends," she murmured, almost as if testing the way it sounded.

"Yeah," Rosalie clarified. "Friends. Do you not know how friendship works, Bella?"

"I've never had friends before," she admitted quietly. "Father didn't like me to have any. Carlisle had friends, of course, and I would spend time with him when he was with them, but they were never _my _friends."

And Rosalie thought her life was sad. Her princess life taken away from her by her fiance. But Bella...Shit. She never had _friends_.

"There was this one boy," she reminisced. "His name was Christopher. I don't remember much about my human life. But this life, this one I know. Vampires who stab you in the back for a decent meal. I've learned to keep my secrets, or I would be sold out. I stopped traveling in packs long ago because of that."

"I'm your friend, Bella," Rosalie assured. "Friends don't sell one another out. I want to help you and be there for you."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "You get nothing out of it?" She shook her head. "What could possibly be admirable about me that you would want to be my friend?"

Rosalie didn't miss a beat. "You're loyal, and you stand up for what you believe in, you're nice, but most importantly, you're _strong_."

Surprised, Bella murmured, "You see all of those things in me?"

"Of course," Rosalie replied. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "I see selfishness, I'm brash, I shove my foot in my mouth, I don't understand social norms, I'm awkward, I'm unemotional—"

"Unemotional?" Rosalie repeated with a snort. "Far from it."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You know, you're kind of a bitch, Rose." She looked at her uncertainly, wondering if nicknames were okay. Seeing no annoyance in her eyes, she continued. "But you're a good...friend."

Rosalie smiled. "Thank you." She offered her hand to Bella. "Are you up to hunting?"

Resisting the urge to scrunch her face, she took her hand, and nodded. "Yeah, absolutely."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I would really appreciate any feedback/motivation. If you would be so kind as to review, that would be awesome. Thank you. Also, I would like to thank everyone who's favorited and watched my story. Two-hundred plus alerts. That's amazing. Imagine if all of you reviewed. I would be in heaven. But I'll take what I can get. Again, I'd just love any suggestions, comments, criticism. Anything. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

After they came back from hunting, which was a quiet affair, what with Bella mulling over the prospect of friendship—it was pathetically sad and she was happy Edward wasn't able to witness her repeating friend over and over again in her head—Alice could barely contain herself. Bella came to the conclusion that Alice was a fantastic liar and usually very rational, but when it came to strong emotions, she could barely contain herself. When she was angry or excited or even extremely sad, the rest of the Cullens just steered clear, except Jasper of course, which she supposed was what made them such a great match, with his calm presence and her rambunctiousness.

She opened the door before Bella even made it up the last step to the porch. Trying to act casual she greeted them with a wave and a strained, "Hey."

Bella stood awkwardly, one foot still hovering over the step, unsure of what to do, before setting it down firmly. "Hello."

That was when Alice burst into tears and attacked her in a hug. "OhmyGodI'msosorryCarlislenevertoldusa nythingandwe'reallsoangryandconfusedandsa dandI'msosorry!"

She managed that all in one barely coherent breath, which Bella found impressive, even for a vampire, and yeah, sure, maybe she was focusing on that to avoid the subject at hand.

"Alice," Jasper's soothing voice came somewhere behind her, but her head was basically pushed down into Alice's cleavage, so she couldn't see much, but what she could see was quite nice. Her skin smelled like flowers. Not that was coming onto Alice because that would be _awkward_. Once again, thank the unusually nice heavens that Edward could not hear her train of thought. Jasper placed a calming hand on Alice's tiny shoulder and Alice released her from her hold.

"I'm—so—sorry," she gasped in between sobs. "It's—just—so—sad!"

Emmett rubbed his neck awkwardly, never one for emotional conversations. He joked weakly, "She's more emotional than Jasper is when he gets around a human PMSing." Esme sent him a reprimanding look, but Bella snorted appreciatively, also one to not show emotion and happy for the humorous relief.

"It's fine," she assured Alice. "_I'm _fine."

Alice's bottom lip trembled, pulling Bella's heartstrings. "But how could you be?"

"It's been four hundred years, I'm over it." And that was a blatant lie and everyone knew it. She specifically went after abusive humans, her own humanity was switched off until she found Carlisle, she was unemotional and still flinched at any mentions of her past, but nobody wanted to push, so they all agreed quietly and Bella muttered a goodnight, or, well, a good morning, and shuffled her way upstairs.

They all agreed wordlessly on going out, no doubt to talk about her, and when the door clicked and she couldn't hear their retreating footsteps anymore, she relaxed. But Rose was still there, in her doorway, not expecting anything, just inquiring silently. Bella motioned her in and Rosalie laid down next to her on her ridiculously comfortable and useless bed.

"I'm sick of crying," she admitted. "Of thinking about it, _him_, and all around me here there are reminders. Little keepsakes Carlisle stole when I was looking. Carlisle himself, even. It's all so tiring. I'm tired."

"I know."

"You do," she agreed.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry, too."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not."

Rosalie paused. "Eventually."

"Eventually," she agreed. She turned her head to look at her, catching her profile. She was beautiful, of course, even by vampire standards. She knew it, too. A straight nose, long eyelashes, perfectly arched eyebrows, cupid's bow lips. She was Aphrodite in the flesh. Well, cold, undead flesh, but flesh nevertheless. There was a foot of space between them and Bella hesitantly reached out and curled her finger tips around the blonde's. This is what friend's did. They were there for each other.

Rosalie glanced down at their hands but said nothing.

"It's going to be okay for you, too," Bella informed. She didn't say what, but it was implied.

She nodded. "It already is. It still hurts sometimes. Sometimes I can still feel him on my skin. It might not seem as bad now, but this was the thirties. You didn't have sex before you were married, we both knew that, but he was drunk. Maybe if we were married I would have taken it, but he wasn't only doing something against society norms, he was doing it without my consent. And giving permission to all of his friends."

"There's no need to explain," Bella murmured, her gaze stuck on the ceiling. "It was rape, whatever decade you're in, whether it be the forties or the twenty-first century, it was rape."

"I hate being a vampire," she admitted.

Bella turned her gaze away from the ceiling, looking at the blonde. "Who doesn't?"

"I really hate it, though. I would do anything to have a human life again. To be able to have kids, grand kids, great grand kids, to grow old. I would willingly trade any of their lives to be human. Does that make me a bitch?"

"Yes." Rosalie turned her head to glare, but Bella was smiling. "We've all been there. It's a phase. I cursed and prayed to every god out there, threatening to kill everybody, promising to kill anybody they wanted me to. I was beyond pissed when that vampire turned me. I had wanted my pain to end, but instead she made it last for eternity."

"I know how that feels. I appreciate everything Carlisle's done for me, but at the same time, all I wanted to do was die and now I have no choice but to live on with these terrible memories, watching everyone age and die around me while I stay young, reminiscing about the past."

"I'm tired," Bella repeated.

"I know. Me too."

Bella turned on her side, letting her head rest on Rosalie's shoulder, curling herself inward. Rosalie's hand slipped around her waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world. They lapsed into silence and watched the sun grow brighter and peek through the cloudy sky.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Fluffy, philosophical angst anyone? I'm thinking about adding a plot to this story, but I'm not sure how the rest of you will react to it. You guys up for a surprise? A spin on things? An, I just thought this up and decided maybe it would be cool but it might be a plot hole and I'm not positive but if you're up for it I'm up for it?


	13. Chapter 13

"Come on!" Rosalie barked at Bella, who was so immersed in her book that she jumped. She invited herself into the room after a beat, heading straight towards Bella's closet. She tossed her a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a blouse. "Get ready."

Bella caught the clothes with ease. She pinched the blouse between her fingers, eying it cautiously, as if it might bite her. "What are these for?"

Obscured from view inside the closet, she answered when she came back out, black pumps in her hand. The shoes dangled off her fingers, and she rested the same hand on her hip, eyebrow cocked in Bella's direction. "I don't know. Perhaps to wear?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Where are we going?"

She smiled. "Church."

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Bella heard Carlisle ask as she walked down the stairs.

"This is strictly Rosalie/Bella time," Rosalie replied.

Bella walked into the kitchen just in time to see Alice pout. "Maybe I want to see Bella, too!"

"I can take off work," Carlisle added.

Rosalie shook her head. "Sorry, maybe next time."

"Perhaps Carlisle and Alice can go with you, and I'll stay home," Bella suggested hopefully, leaning against the doorway.

"Nice try," Rosalie laughed. She walked up to her, smoothing down the wrinkles of her blouse where it rested on her shoulders. "I knew you'd look good in blue."

Torn between wanting to thank her for the compliment, and being defiant, she muttered, "Whatever. You look nice too." Which was an understatement. Her hair was curled and pinned up. She wore a white dress that reached her knees, and had a black sash around the empire waistline, as well as a cardigan that matched.

Rosalie smiled and slipped her hand between the crook of her elbow. Less escorting her and more making sure she wouldn't run away. "We'll be back around twelve," Rosalie called over her shoulder, guiding Bella forward, or more like dragging. "Now remember," she said as they walked out of the house. "I only want to help you."

"By reconnecting with God?" Bella scoffed. "No thanks."

"This if for your own good," she continued, opening the door to her car for her. She then got in herself and looked at Bella expectantly, who was still standing outside the car. "Get in or not, it's your choice, but I really am only trying to help you Bella. This is what friends do."

Bella scowled. Dammit. There she went with the friends thing again. Bella huffed as she got into the car. "I could tell them you kidnapped me. Or just run away."

"But you won't."

She crossed her arms, not saying anything. She drove slow, but only because they were going through town. Rosalie didn't play any music and didn't engage in conversation, making the ride too silent, leaving Bella only to her thoughts. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, they arrived at the church quickly. Being a small town, the church was packed, and Rosalie only just managed to find a parking spot.

"You ready?" Rosalie asked, unbuckling her seat belt. She didn't open her door, which lessened the pressure, for which Bella was grateful for.

"Not really," she replied.

Rosalie smiled and took her hand. "It's going to be okay. This will be good for you. You'll see."

She didn't say anything, but only opened her door and got out of the car. Rosalie followed suit, and they both stood in front of the door of the church, neither attempting to go in.

"You know I haven't stepped in a church since I changed."

Rosalie nodded. "I had a feeling."

"I'm scared."

She nodded again and took her hand in hers. "We'll do it together." They walked in sync, only a few steps, and then Rosalie grasped the handle and opened the door.

Bella's eyes shut tight and her hand quaking with fear, she walked over the threshold she knew was there and waited for her imminent death. When the flames didn't come, she cracked her eyes open and sighed in relief, her body still shaking. She looked at Rosalie and laughed. "I'm okay."

Rosalie frowned, slightly confused. "Of course you're okay. Why wouldn't you be?"

"I'm a vampire," she said, as if it were obvious. "And this is a church."

She stared at her, uncomprehendingly, until realization dawned on her, and she laughed. "Wait, you thought you were going to _burn_?"

Bella huffed and crossed her arms. "Well, yeah! Why else would you bring me here?"

"Never you mind." She then let out a yell, which caused Bella to jump. "OhmyGod, your arm is on fire!"

Bella glared as she double checked the sleeve of her coat. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"You should have seen your face." Rosalie laughed, clutching at her stomach.

"You're a bitch."

She wrapped her arm around her shoulder and pulled her tight to her side. "Cool down. You might catch on fire again."

"I hate you."

She grinned. "Come on. Service is about to start."

* * *

Sarah Webber stood at the pew, her fingers knotting and unknotting together. She cleared her throat lightly, but when it got no one's attention, she spoke into the microphone. "Hello." All eyes were on her, young and old. Her fingers twisted faster. "As you know it's been two months since my husband disappeared. It's surprising how much time has passed. For the past couple of weeks, we've had different substitutes each Sunday. We realized how inconsistent that may seem and we've finally settled on a replacement pastor. Without further ado, Dan Mallory."

Dan stood up to clapping, which he accepted graciously. "Thank you. I'd like to start today's survive with—"

"Do you feel bad?" Rosalie asked conversationally.

"No."

"Not even a little bit?"

"From saving that family from a monster? For giving their life peace?"

"For taking a man's life. For taking a wife's husband and two boys' father."

Bella thought about it a moment. She looked at Rosalie, knowing the right answer was to feel remorse. "No."

"Would you do it again?"

"In a heartbeat."

Rosalie tore her gaze away from Dan and looked at Bella. "Do you wish you hadn't started the animal diet?"

"No and yes." She looked thoughtful. "Some humans deserve to die. But at the same time, I love being as human as I can be."

She smiled and they sat in silence again. After the service, everybody was lining up to talk to the new Pastor. "Why don't we go meet him?" Rosalie suggested.

"Ooh!" Bella squealed. "I have a better idea! How about we not?"

Rosalie grabbed her hand, seeing the line dwindling, and pulled her to the end. Her grip was tight, not allowing Bella the chance to leave. Just as it was their turn, a little boy came up to Dan, tugging at his pant leg.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

"One second, bud, I'm talking."

The little boy pouted and kept tugging at his pants. "Daddy! It's important!"

Dan knelt down and Bella gasped as hand drew near to the little boy's face. Just as she was about to toss him through the wall, Dan's fingers gently touched his chin. "Okay, I'll be there in a second."

The little boy smiled, showing his missing front tooth, and then ran off.

Dan stood up, giving them an apologetic look. "Sorry about that."

* * *

"I thought he was going to hit the little kid."

"I know," Rosalie responded. "I saw it on your face. He didn't though."

"Why didn't he?" Bella mused, confused. "I just don't understand."

Taking her hand away from the wheel, she patted Bella's shoulder. "That's okay. That's why I took you here today. To show you that not every religious figure is evil."

"I'm hopeless. I just can't even process the idea—"

"You're not hopeless. We all want to help you. We won't give up on you."

"Promise?"

She smiled. "Promise."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I had major writer's block with this chapter, and I'm still not that quite satisfied with it, but I really wanted to give you another chapter. Any suggestions for the next chapter? Where you want this to go? It would really help a lot.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **Happy New Year, guys! Hope you all had a lovely holiday.

* * *

"Mm," Bella moaned. She threw her head back, gazing at Rosalie. "It's so good!"

Rosalie, leaning against a tree opposite her, rolled her eyes. "No need to be so sarcastic."

She grinned through a mouthful of blood and offered the half drained bunny to her, it's snapped neck hanging limp. "Want some?"

"Oh, absolutely," Rosalie went along, pushing herself off the tree. Bending over, she dragged her finger across Bella's chin, and held it steady in front of her. The blood glistened in the sunlight. "You're such a messy eater."

Bella grinned as she leaned forward and grabbed a hold of her hand. She slowly brought her finger to her mouth, but just before it touched her lips, she forced her hand back and poked her nose. "Who's the messy eater now?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and wiped at her nose. "Very mature."

"Uh huh." She licked at her teeth only to bury them in the bunny's neck again. She nuzzled her face into the fur and pulled back, the bottom half of her face covered with blood. "Do I have anything on my face?"

"Really, Bella," a voice came from behind them. "You shouldn't play with your food."

Both of them jumped, crouching down low in defense. Bella relaxed when she saw it was only Alice. "How long have you been there?"

Alice shrugged. "Long enough to see you two flirting." Her voice was teasing.

"Flirting?" Rosalie scoffed and crossed her arms. "Please."

"Yeah, so not my type," Bella agreed.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "What _is _your type?"

"Young, type AB, blonde or brunette. Not too picky." Her smile slipped as she looked distastefully at the dead animal in her hands. "But lately it seems like I've been making friends with Disney princesses' furry slaves."

"Slaves?" Alice asked, appalled. "Friends, you mean."

Bella stooped back to the ground, starting to dig a little grave for the fuzzy creature. She looked up, snorting. "Please. They hypnotize them with a song and then they did their bidding." She quickly dug the whole and buried the bunny. Dusting herself off, she looked at Alice expectantly.

She smiled excitedly. "I wanted to talk to you about something." Slightly apprehensive, Bella nodded for her to continue. "When was the last time you went on a date?"

Slightly surprised, she crossed her arms. "Well..." She pursed her lips. "My last date was with an abusive husband in a sketchy bar." She smirked. "Didn't end well."

"Oh?" Rosalie chimed sarcastically.

Alice cleared her throat. "How about a real date? One that didn't end in bloodshed?"

"Where are you going with this?" she asked, hand on her hip and eyebrow cocked.

"I think that putting yourself out there, going on a date, would be a step in the right direction not only with your thirst, but with your other problem as well. It would be really putting your past behind you and starting anew."

Laughing to herself and resting her arms under her chest, she asked, "And who do you suggest I go out with? A human?"

"No!" Alice assured. "Of course not! I already had someone in mind..."

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me," Bella muttered as Emmett stood in the doorway of her bedroom. Having been unable to argue with Alice—puppy eyes. What was the point in being a vampire if you were bested by puppy eyes?—she let herself be dolled up. Her hair was curled and she was forced into a short sleeved, knee length wrap around dress. And heels. What had her world come to?

Emmett grinned as he presented a bouquet of flowers with a flourish. "Prepare for your mind to be _blown!"_

"Oh God."

Alice smiled happily as she shoved Bella out the door. "Have fun, you two!"

"I really don't think this is the right thing to do," Rosalie told her.

She shook her head. "This will be good for her. She'll interact with humans and move on from her past. Emmett's a good guy. Hey, maybe they'll fall in love."

Rosalie gave her a dubious look.

* * *

"Where to?" Bella asked as Emmett opened the door to his jeep for her.

"It's a surprise." He closed the door with a grin and was in the driver's seat in the blink of an eye. "You don't mind if the tops down, do you?"

"Alice will." She gestured to her curls.

He shrugged and winked at her. "We'll just say we had sex."

* * *

"A _play ground_?"

He turned off the engine and gave her a look. "You've ever been to one before?"

"Well, no, but—"

He cut her off. "Exactly!" He grinned and pointed to the park. "Now get your_ ass _over there and on those swings!"

* * *

Derek loved the park. The elementary school had a small play ground near the parking lot, but it was nothing compared to the communal park. He went there every weekend and as often as he could during the week. He'd take his older brothers or his parents with him and have them push him as hard as they could on the swings. He'd close his eyes and tilt his head back and pretend he was flying.

He was on the lowest swing to the ground, his mom sitting on the nearest bench. He pumped his legs back and forth, back and forth. His swing didn't go any higher. That was when two grown-ups joined him. The girl was very pretty, not that he would admit that because girls had cooties, but she had shiny brown hair and a nice blue dress. The guy was _huuuge_, with big muscles, probably a football player, but he had a goofy grin on his face that made him less scary. Derek was content to share the swing set with them.

"Are we really going to do this?" she asked as she set herself down on the swing.

He grinned. "Oh, yeah." He placed his hands on her back and gave a big shove that Derek thought probably hurt. "Hold on tight." In just a few seconds, she was flying high, and her delighted squeals rang throughout the park.

Derek gazed at the girl with awe. He wanted to go that high. He _would_ go that high. Just as he started to kick his legs harder, the girl jumped off the swing and landed on her knees. He had a feeling she could have landed on her feet, but chose not to. She fell to her back, and then looked to the boy.

"My turn!" he declared. "Bet I can land farther than you."

She rolled her eyes as she stood up, cedar chips in her hair. "You're so immature."

"I'm not immature," he argued, "Just fun. Now push."

She complied and Derek started to gain more altitude. But the boy was much higher, much faster. And before he knew it, the boy was digging his feet in the dirt, way farther than where the girl landed.

He pumped his legs furiously, and not to be outdone, jumped off the swing just as the grown-ups did, the only difference was his landing was jarring, and his knee was skinned and shinning with blood. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Mo-Mo-Mommy!"

Bella took a step back, her eyes closing with delight as she inhaled the scent of blood. Her irises were dark with thirst when she opened them again, and Emmett was in front of her in a flash. "Bella. Come on. You didn't make it this far just to be bested by a five-year-old." He let out a tiny growl and muttered to himself, "Why didn't Alice _see _this?" He took her face in his hands and held her gaze steady. "You can do this."

She closed her eyes and took one last breath. "I didn't choke down Thumper's blood just to lose control because of a kindergartner."

He let out a tiny laugh. "That's right."

"I can do this."

"You can." She took a breath, her eyes opening, liquid gold. He smiled. "Better?"

"Better."

He offered her his arm, smiling tentatively. "You up to finishing this date?"

"Oh, absolutely."

* * *

"How was your night?" Rosalie asked, not bothering to turn away from the hood of the car. Her back was to her and Bella was basically talking to her ass.

"Oh fantastic. He took me to the park."

She gave a distracted, "Cool."

"We were on the swings the whole night."

Noncommittal grunt.

"Took a break for the slides."

Her blonde head bobbed up and down. "Uh huh."

"I think I may be in love."

That caught her attention. She pulled back from the car, turning around to look at her. She had a grease stain on her forehead and she leaned over to grab a rag. "Oh really?"

"Mhm." Her fingers danced on one of the counter tops containing tools.

"Do I hear wedding bells?"

"Possibly." She grinned, but it faded. "There was this little boy, maybe five or six, and he was swinging with us. Emmett and I kept jumping off the swings and he wanted to, too. So he swung higher and jumped off, but he cut his knee. Nothing too bad, no stitches, but it was enough."

She frowned. "But you're okay?"

"Thanks to you." She smiled, the light reaching her eyes. "I did it, Rose." She couldn't contain herself, she wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and pulled her into a hug. "I actually did it."

"I knew you could."

* * *

"Alice!" Emmett snapped. He opened her bedroom door, finding her alone. Her back turned to him, she pushed her swivel chair away from the computer desk and turned around, looking at him serenely.

"Did you have a good time? Who am I kidding? Of course you did."

He frowned, eyeing her pleased smile suspiciously. "Did you know this was going to happen?"

"You underestimate me, brother."

He gazed at her. "...You planned this."

She had a good poker face, but a giggle slipped through. She clapped her hands excitedly. "Edward would have taken her to that meadow of his, which wasn't good enough. She needed human interaction. You, though, I knew you would have done something spontaneous. And then the vision came and I saw the little boy scrape his knee and I saw her _control _her thirst. I was so proud of her."

He shook his head, not buying it. "There's more to it than that." She grinned and he narrowed his eyes. "What are you up to, midget?"

She smiled simply. "Oh, just playing matchmaker."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I hope you guys liked that. I was a little iffy on the last scene. What do you guys think? Did you like it?


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **I wanted this to be a lighter chapter. I'm not sure if I like it, I'm a little iffy.

* * *

There was a point when ducking her head to hide her eyes wasn't cutting it. She certainly wasn't shy, and she more certainly wasn't trying to flirt, so Carlisle became more and more concerned. He inquired if she was okay, if she was happy living there, all with such concern in his voice that Bella felt like shit.

So she was going to tell him. She was embarrassed, although she had no clue why. Maybe because she wanted his praise like a child wants the approval of a parent…Yeah, it was that. She was an independent woman! She did not need _any one's _approval. But dammit! She wanted her big brother to look at her with a sense of pride. She wanted him to be somebody he could be proud of, that he could brag of. Was she replacing him as her father figure? Making up for the shitty one she had? Probably.

She knew he knew that she was outside his door, but they all liked pretending to be human (even though they were anything but), so he let her knock on the door and he called 'come in' like he didn't know she had been standing there for the past five minutes.

"Did you need something?"

She bit back the instinct bitchy retort she usually had when she was scared. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you." Her head was still ducked and his head was tilted at an uncomfortable angle trying to look at her face. So she tucked her hair behind her ears and lifted her head up. "I've been working for the past couple of months on converting my diet."

He didn't say anything. He leaned back in his chair, his hands entwined and a frown on his face. And then he spoke up, "Why?"

"I didn't have to do this for you!" she snapped. "I could have seduced and drank my way up the western coast if I wanted to!"

He stood up from his chair and walked around his desk, gesturing for her to calm down. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I just want to know why. Was it really for me?"

"Yes. Not because you asked," she hurried to explain. "But I wanted to be human around you, or as human as I can get. With human blood I'm animalistic. I still have emotions, but they all run on bloodlust. But when I'm on animal blood—as disgusting as it may be—I'm more controlled. I'm more human, more me. I'm less of a monster. I wanted to be human with you." She smiled excitedly. "I've only messed up once."

The left side of his mouth quirked, but halfheartedly. "Everyone falls of the wagon now and then."

"Carlisle?" She frowned at the look on his face. She took a step forward and placed a hand on his arm. "Why are you so upset? This is what you wanted."

He shook his head. "Yes, at first, but I didn't want to change you!"

"You _helped _me." She shook her head in frustration. "You know me, Carlisle. You now I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to."

"You're right," he murmured, ducking his head in slight embarrassment. He looked back up with a genuine smile. "I'm proud of you, Bella."

She grinned. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Can I get that in writing, maybe videotaped? Whichever's more convenient?"

He rolled his eyes good naturedly. He grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her into a hug. He kissed her atop her head which she pretended to be grossed out about. "How should we celebrate?"

In the blink of an eye, Alice was in the office, smiling excitedly. "Baseball!"

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Baseball?"

"Vampire baseball," she clarified.

She let out a disbelieving snort. "You're kidding right? Is that as stupid as it sounds?"

"Stupid?!" Alice demanded, offended. "Wearing matching, monogrammed uniforms and busting balls is not _stupid_."

"Nice choice of words."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "We still haven't found a ball and bat that withstands our strength." But her annoyance turned into excitement in the blink of an eye. She did a little jump as she clapped her hands together. "I can make you a uniform!"  
"No."

"And you can be on my team."

"No."

"When is the next thunderstorm?" She briefly closed her eyes, while Bella kept repeating no over and over again. Of course she ignored her. She opened her eyes again with a beaming smile. "Oh, yay! It's this Thursday! That's the upside with living in such an overcast town."

"No."

Alice took a step forward and took Bella's face into her hands. She tried to jerk out of her grasp, but it was surprisingly strong. "Oh, Bella, _yeeessss. _This is happening, Bella." She placed a finger to her temple and nodded with a smile on her face. "I've _seen _it."

"No, no you haven't!" Bella protested. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. "I'm changing my mind right now."

Alice stroked her cheek with a giggle, amused at her naivety. "Oh, Bella, that won't stop me." She slapped her cheek gently. "I'll go out and buy the material now. It should be done by Thursday! Do you know how to play baseball? Go ask one of the boys—"

"Sexist!"

"Or Rosalie or Esme, I don't care." She sent her one last excited smile before leaving. In mere seconds, she heard the sound of an engine revving and tires rolling over gravel.

Bella sent Carlisle a look. "I'm not playing baseball."

"It would make her happy," he said gently, smiling patiently.

She huffed and stomped her foot. "I don't _waaant _to! Oh, brother, brother, please!" Her voice took on the accent they both dropped long ago, reminding him of his childhood. She added in a pout for good measure.

He shrugged. "It's up to you."

She glared. "Bloody hell, now I have to." She turned on her heel and left the room, muttering "Stupid vampire baseball. What has the world come to?"

"Rose!" Bella called as she walked down the stairs. "I need to speak to you!"

Emmett, who was sitting in the living room playing x-box live, gave her a look. "What the hell's wrong with your voice?"

"I'm English," she snapped. "Where is Rosalie?"

He said, in an exaggerated Essex accent, (sounding disturbingly like Russell Brand), "I can't bloody understand you. Speak American, please."

She rolled her eyes. "Where is Rosalie?"

"T'at's better!" He grinned. "She's in the 'arage, of course."

"Thank you."

As she left the room, he called, "T'is is actually quite a bit of fun! I take it back, Bella, please continue! I apologize for bein' so I'norant. Bollocks this shit! Shite? Shet? Bella! Curse at this twelve-year-old for me, I don't think I'm doin' it rig't!"

"Alice is making me play vampire baseball."

Rosalie pulled back away from the car with a grimace on her face. "I was wondering when she would rope you into that. Has she made you a uniform already?"

"She just left to get the material."

She gave her a sympathetic look. "You poor thing."

"I know."

She rolled her eyes. "Suck it up; we all have to suffer through it for her too. Besides, sometimes it's even entertaining. It's a nice bonding experience." She snorted and wiped her hands off with a nearby rag. "Did you come here to just whine, or did you have anything interesting to say?"

Bella glared. "I did, in fact, have something to tell you. I told Carlisle about my diet."

"I'm surprised he didn't find out sooner," was her response. But she was happy for her, so she patted Bella's hand and smiled. "How'd he take it?"

"He's happy, hence the baseball." She flipped Rosalie's hand over and entwined their fingers together. "He was a little upset at first, but it was irrational and we worked through it." She gave her a sincere smile. "I wanted to thank you. This never would have been possible without you."

Rosalie cleared her throat, slightly uncomfortable at the gratitude. She wasn't used to it. People didn't thank her often, or, well, ever. "You're welcome. You know, I care about Carlisle. I didn't want to see your relationship destroyed, not so soon."

"And?" Bella prompted teasingly.

"I may care about you," she said reluctantly. She grinned and slapped her shoulder. "You know I do. You're my best friend."

"Fried Green Tomatoes?"

Rosalie's eyebrow furrowed. "Huh?"

"How do I know that reference—and I've lived as a nomad for the past four hundred years—but _you_ don't?"

"Isn't that a food?"

She shook her head and detangled their hands to rest it on her shoulder, pityingly. "You have much to learn."

"Well so do you," Rosalie reminded. She rolled up the rag in her hands and snapped it, causing it to hit her shoulder. Bella let out a protesting, 'Hey!', but Rosalie ignored her and continued. "Do you even know how to play baseball?"

"Of course I know how to play baseball!"

Rosalie gave her a knowing look. "I can help you, if you want."

"I know how to play baseball!" Bella protested. She crossed her arms. "I _know _how to play baseball, okay?"

Rosalie shrugged and bent over to look under the car's hood again. "If you say so."

"I do."

"Okay."

"Good."

"Mhm," she replied distractedly.

Bella huffed and left the garage.

Too proud to ask for money, she resorted to her old ways, which was pick pocketing. After successfully stealing two twenty dollar bills, she went to Barnes and Noble and bought Baseball for Dummies. Having never gone to a book store before, she had to ask a person at the customer service desk.

"Do you have any books that teach you baseball?"

She pursed her lips in thought and then nodded slowly. "For dummies?"

"What?" Bella demanded, extremely offended. "I am not dumb!"

The employee hurried to explain, not liking the look in her eye. "No, no, it's a book."

In the privacy of her bedroom, she read Baseball for Dummies twice, and took notes. She was only interrupted twice, once for Alice taking measures of her size and nodding like she already knew. The other time was Esme, who wanted to congratulate and make sure she was happy living with them and that she hadn't been feeling pressured to change her diet.

She heard Alice's dainty steps coming towards her door and she hurried to shove her book and the notes underneath her pillow. She was there to open the door just as Alice nodded.

"You ready?" Alice asked excitedly. She stepped into the room without an invitation and pointed a finger towards Bella. "Take those off." She draped the uniform over the bed. "I'm more than sure it will fit, but let's check anyway." She set herself on the bed, next to the clothes she laid there. Bella gave her an expectant look and motioned for her to close her eyes. She giggled as she placed her hands over her eyes. "Someone's shy." A perfectly aimed shirt hit Alice in the face. "Nice, Bella, very mature."

"I'm done," she announced.

Alice opened her eyes and squealed in delight. She did a little skip over to Bella and smoothed down the fabric. "It looks great." She tapped her temple knowingly. "I saw this, of course." She smiled. "Now, do you know how to play the game?"

"Of course I know how to play baseball."

Alice winked at her as she motioned over to her pillow, where the book lay hidden. She made a _shh_ing gesture. "Your secret is safe with me…And Edward," she added. "Don't worry, you'll play awesome today. You're on my team with Emmett and Edward. Rosalie, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle are on the other team. Come on." Alice motioned with her hand. "Time to kick some butt."

As soon as Jasper was up, the ball headed straight for Bella. She was extremely distracted, going over her notes in her head, and trying to not groan over how ridiculous this whole thing was. If she had been human, the ball would have hit her in the face she would have a broken nose. She had had terrible reflexes, even for a human. But no, she was a vampire, and it was pure instinct to protect herself and her hand shot up on its own accord and caught the ball.

"Oh!" Emmett yelled. "Out!" He started to do the running man. "Nice, Bella!"

Next was Carlisle, who sent Emmett running deep into the woods and managed to get a home run. When Emmett came back, he held up the baseball, which was torn in two. "What number baseball is this?"

Alice pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Our one-hundred-and-seventh."

"No…" Edward shook his head. "I think it's our one-hundred-and-fifteenth."

"It's our one-hundred-and-twenty-third," Esme spoke up. "I've been counting."

"Wait!" Bella interrupted. "Are you kidding me? Do you guys not understand how redundant this game is for us? No matter how far we spread these bases, we still have super speed and strength and we could run these bases ten times in five seconds! Every time you hit the ball, you either break the ball or bat." She motioned towards the pile of bent bats at the edge of the field. "And you guys have a count for how many baseballs you've ever split!"

"That's just for this game," piped Alice.

Bella stomped her foot in frustration. "Do you see what I _mean_? This game is too human for us! The only way this could be challenging for us is if the bases were spread states apart! The only way it could be fun is if instead of a ball, we were batting a human."

"Well that's morbid," Esme interjected.

"It's true," Bella insisted. "Why are we even playing this game?"

"It's the American past time," explained Edward.

"Or Emmett just has a serious gambling problem." She turned to him. "How much money do you have riding on this game?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and shrugged.

"And, you know, I never agreed to playing baseball to celebrate," Bella continued. "To be honest, I'd rather see Edward and Alice play chess, because I want to know how this works."

Everyone seemed thoughtful. "I haven't kicked your butt in chess in a while," Alice spoke up.

"Yeah, you're really off your game," Edward agreed.

Alice pouted. "That's not what I meant! We haven't played in a while."

"I'll go easy on you, Alice."

"I'm going to win, I know it," Alice said. She smirked. "I can _see it_."

As everyone walked back, Carlisle tousled her hair and then joined Esme, who was lagging behind. Rosalie kept pace with Bella. "Thank you for finally saying something."

"It was my pleasure," Bella said sincerely.

Emmett ran up to them. "I bet you fifty bucks Edward will win."

"How about a favor?" Bella negotiated.

He thought about it and shook his head. "Nope. Not daring enough. Yo, Jasper! I bet you Edward will win!"

"You're on!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **Did you guys like it? I'd really love some reassurance. I'm hoping my brand of humor didn't completely destroy the chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

"How do you know this will work?" questioned Emmett, choosing not to look at Alice, but instead at the bouquet of red roses in his hand uncertainty.

Alice stepped forward and adjusted his collar. She smiled sweetly at him, and then slapped his cheek. "Why would you doubt me?" She tapped her forehead knowingly. Which was a lie, but Emmett didn't need to know that. She may not know _exactly _how Bella would react, but she knew Bella well enough to assume that she would say yes. Emmett was a good guy. Besides, who could resist his puppy eyes? No one.

"I don't want to hurt her feelings," Emmett pushed. "What if she starts to like me back?"

"Careful," Alice warned. "You keep talking like that and your head won't fit through the door."

"Ha-ha," he deadpanned.

She placed her tiny hands on his large shoulders and turned him around, facing him towards the door. "Everything will work out. She'll say yes, you'll have a great time, and then before you know it, Rose will come to her senses."

"But," Emmett protested. "How do you know Rose is—?"

She didn't give Emmett a chance to finish, just once again tapped her temple, which was really starting to annoy him. Before he could delay further, she pushed him out the door.

Emmett sighed, hid the flowers behind his back, and walked down the stairs to the living room. He found Bella sitting between Carlisle and Rosalie. Great, Carlisle was there. It was easier when he knew he was just taking her to the park for fun, just hanging out. He was never the greatest liar, and now he had to put on a whole charade.

"Bella," he greeted. Not giving her a chance to greet him back, he presented the flowers with a flourish. Recalling what Alice told him to say, he asked, "Would you give me the honor of accompanying me on a second date?"

"Second?" all three of them repeated in surprise.

"There was a first?" Carlisle demanded, looking between the two.

Rosalie was completely shocked. How could he possibly want to date her when he knew nothing about her? Her favorite color (it changed day to day, but at the moment it was brown, because she was sick of all the leafy green), or her favorite flower (delphinium, because the blue reminded her of her brother's eyes, the only reminder she had at a time), or her favorite book, or her troubles with her thirst, or—or—or maybe that's _why _he wanted to be with her, to learn all of those things. Oh God.

This was news to Carlisle of course. He wasn't sure if he was completely comfortable with the idea of her dating. Fourteen or four-hundred, he didn't like it. As much as wanted to answer for her, he knew she would never allow it. So he kept quiet.

Bella stared at Emmett, wide eyed. "…No."

Emmett stood up a little straighter, taken aback. "What?" What was he supposed to do? Alice didn't tell him what to do if she said no.

"No," she repeated. "I can't. I'm sorry." Embarrassed, she left the house.

Rosalie stood up. "I'll go find her."

"No," Carlisle said. He patted Rosalie's shoulder with a smile. "I'll do it."

Emmett and Rosalie stared at one another, unsure, before Rosalie sat down and Emmett went to find Alice.

"What do we do now?" Emmett asked, finding her in her room.

Shocked, Alice shrugged. "I…don't know."

* * *

She ran until she collapsed somewhere in Forks' woods. She leant against a tree, tilting her head back until it rested on the mossy trunk. It wasn't long before Carlisle found her. He sat down next to her, and she rested her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence.

"Do you want to talk about why you left?" he asked gently.

"He's too good for me."

Taken aback, he stared at her. "Why do you think that?"

"I am a four-hundred year old vampire with commitment, abandonment, and daddy issues. Emmett is so loving, and caring, and full of life. I would ruin him. Like Father said, nobody would want to be with me. I'm a-a—"

Carlisle interrupted her, placing his hands gently on her face, making her look at him. His hands were loose. She could pull away if she wanted to. She didn't. "He was a man who wanted control. He beat you down so you could never leave him, like Mother."

"But he did the same thing with you—"

He nodded. "Yes, he did. He did it for the same reason, just different circumstances. He wanted control."

"But everybody looked up to him, listened to him. He was a pastor. His word was true."

"He was also a man," Carlisle said firmly. "A man who felt his life was out of his control. As someone who thought God dictated every aspect of his life, he felt the need to control every tiny thing. When Mother died, he realized the puppet strings were slipping out of his grasp. He called you those things so you would never marry and leave him."

She stared at him. "How do you know this?"

"I've been around a long time, Bella. At nights, my thoughts were plagued by him. I needed answers and I went to a psychologist."

She scoffed and stood up. "What does some _shrink_ know about our father? A man he's never met!"

Carlisle stood up as well, taking a step towards her, but she held a hand up, stopping him. "They're trained in that field, Bella. They've dealt with things like this."

She whirled around and punched a tree. "I just want him to _go away_. I want him out of my life! Every time I see a human, I think of him, and I feel the responsibility to rid the world of that evil. I can't think of being in a relationship without hearing his voice, calling me a harlot and a whore, and telling me no man could possibly love me. He keeps coming back, no matter how hard I try to rid myself of him! I see Emmett and I realize I'll just ruin him. He's such a good person."

Carlisle stood in front of her, hands in front of him in a non-threatening way. "Bella," he murmured. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "It takes years for someone to come to terms with abuse."

"I've had four-hundred! And so have you."

"I've had support and family, Bella." He smiled. "And so do you now."

Her only response was to hug him tighter.

* * *

A knock sounded at Bella's bedroom door. Not opening her eyes or sitting up on her bed, she called for Rosalie to come in. There was no privacy in this home, she had come to realize. You heard what everyone did, what everyone said. She could _smell _Rosalie from down the hall. It was weird, but so was sucking blood.

"How are you doing?" Rosalie asked, hip resting against the door frame.

"Me?" Bella asked rhetorically. "Carlisle was very helpful."

Rosalie stepped into the room and shut the door. It made no difference, but it was courtesy. "Emmett and Alice were very upset you said no. Well, Alice was. Emmett seemed kind of relieved."

Bella cracked an eye open. "They're planning something." She sat up reluctantly. "Did you want to go hunting?"

Eying the color of her irises, Rosalie muttered uncomfortably, "I was thinking a walk, actually."

Bella glanced out the glass wall and shrugged. "It's not raining. Sure."

Rosalie smiled brightly, but then pressed her lips together. She had been confused earlier at her thoughts about Emmett. But then she realized it was jealousy, and she would be damned if she was jealous of the fact that Emmett asked Bella out. There was no need to be jealous of the fact that he would come between their friendship.

As if to spite them, fifteen minutes later it started to rain. Bella wasn't really interested in ducking into the woods, where they would be shielded by the thick canopy. It was too much green for one day, but Rosalie didn't feel like dealing with Alice's bitching once she found them soaking wet. Neither wanted to go back to the house.

Finding the courage, Rosalie finally asked, "Why did you say no?"

Bella sighed. She had a feeling that was coming. "He's too good for me…What?" she snapped. Rosalie was staring at her. She strode forward, until she was uncomfortably close to Bella.

"How could you possibly think that?" she questioned. "After all we've been through?"

"How could _you_? After _all _we've been through?" she shot the question back at her. "You've seen the worst of me. I'm not good enough for him! I would corrupt him."

Rosalie shook her head. "You're irritatingly stubborn, sure, but you're also loyal, determined, funny, beautiful…What's not to like?" Her hand reached forward to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. She gently tucked it behind her ear, wanting to make sure she had her attention. But she didn't, because Bella was staring at her hand curiously. Is this what friends did? It certainly didn't seem like it…Rosalie sighed and her breath blew across Bella's face, catching her attention and making her look up. "You're amazing, Bella. How can you not realize that?"

Bella touched the hand that was curved against her jaw. Rosalie recognized her mistake and was quick to take her had back, but Bella pulled her back, entwining their fingers and smiling gently. This seemed more like friends, taking solace in their comforting presence. "Thank you."

Perhaps it was acting on her jealousy earlier and wanting to claim what was hers. Although she thought they were only friends, her possessive vampire instincts begged to differ. Or maybe it was just acting in the heat of the moment. To be honest, she didn't really know what it was; although later Alice would romanticize it. It was impulse, pure emotion. She tugged her hand free from Bella's, only to place it back on her cheek and guide her face to hers. Bella being brought to her tippy toes and Rosalie leaning down, their lips met.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So I apologize for the late update, but I had a writer's block. I hope the kiss wasn't too fast. This chapter was originally going to be longer, but I decided to make the rest of it the next chapter all together. The thing is, I have most of the next chapter written out, but I've become stumped. I'm hoping I can work it out rather quickly and give you the next update soon. I don't want to make you guys wait another month.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry for the delay, but I've been a little hesitant about posting this chapter.

* * *

Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were hidden out in Alice's room. None of them but Alice wanted to be there.

"What do you want to do now?" Emmett asked tiredly, staring at the red roses. The roses were a romantic gesture that Alice insisted would work. But it seemed to be the theme for the day that Alice was wrong. It had been hours after Bella said no. He had asked this question numerous times and she had always given the same answer.

"I always have a plan," Alice lied reassuringly.

Emmett looked at his watch. "I think if you had a plan, you would have told me a couple hours ago."

Edward, who was the first to find out about the plan (because Emmett thought too loudly), spoke up, "Maybe you were wrong, Alice."

"I never felt anything between them," Jasper agreed. He had found out because Alice could never keep anything from him. Even when she tried.

"That's because they're sneaky," Alice said resolutely. "You'll see—" Her voice trailed off and her eyes went distant, focusing on a vision that only she could see. Jasper went to her side, rubbing her shoulders encouragingly. She broke out of the vision with a jump. "I saw it!" she squealed.

"Saw what?" Emmett asked.

"Rosalie and Bella!" she said in a 'duh' tone. They didn't have to ask what they were doing because Alice stood up and started dancing around the room with Jasper. "Like I said, guys, I _always _have a plan!"

* * *

Bella had been in this situation hundreds of times before. It was the thrill of the hunt. Luring them in and pretending to let them be in control…She had never done this with a girl before, but it wasn't that different. It was instinct to let her kiss her. Just as she was about to reveal that Bella was indeed in control of this situation and wind her hand through her hair and tug—maybe push her against a tree—she came to her senses. Her hand slipped from her blonde locks and she pushed herself away. Rosalie stared at her in confusion before her eyes widened in shock.

"I—I—I'm so sorry," Rosalie sputtered, hands flying to her lips, before stretching out to Bella.

Bella didn't let her get that far. She stepped back, shook her head, and fled, like she did with every situation that overwhelmed her.

"Bella!" Rosalie called uselessly. She thought about following her, but decided she wasn't ready to talk about it and it was clear that neither was Bella. She slid to the ground and put her head in her hands, going home only after the initial shock and guilt wore off. Well sort of wore off. It wouldn't completely go away.

"Rosalie, I need to talk to you!" Alice yelled as soon as Rosalie stepped through the door. Not even giving her a chance to close the door, she pulled Rosalie by her arm further into the house.

"Alice now's not really the time," Rosalie protested, rubbing her face wearily.

She shook her head, having none of it. "Nonsense. Now is the perfect time!"

"Alice really—"

Her mouth formed a tiny 'o' before she winked. "I understand. Emmett, Jasper, Edward, come on, we're going for a hunt!" They tried to protest, saying they weren't thirsty, but she gave them a look that shut them up. Never letting go of Rosalie's arm, she dragged her far enough away from the house that neither Esme nor Carlisle could possibly hear what they were saying.

"It was so romantic," Alice gushed. "With the brushing of her hair off her face, and the hand holding, and—" She squealed before continuing. "—the _kissing_."

"Kissing?" All three boys repeated. Emmett continued further with a coy smile. "What kissing?"

Rosalie shook her head. "I screwed up big time, Alice."

She frowned. And that was when she noticed Bella wasn't with her. "…Rosalie. What did you do?"

* * *

Bella sat at a bar, a shot of scotch in front of her. She couldn't get drunk but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy the burn of it down her throat. She tipped it back and slammed it down on the counter. Another shot was set down in front of her. She looked up at the bartender, admitting that she shouldn't.

"On the house," she said with a smile. Her blonde hair was pulled up high and she had bright blue eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked sympathetically.

Bella eyed her pulse point. She wasn't who she usually went for. Too nice. But her pulse point was thrumming; it seemed, louder than all the others. Her skin was slightly sweaty and she imagined licking the salt off her neck and drinking a shot of tequila and then biting down into her neck, instead of lime. She shut her eyes tightly. She didn't want to be pushed off the wagon by a pretty (and probably sweet) little blonde. Oh God, she reminded her of Rosalie.

She felt the ghost of her father's belt against her back and whimpered. What would he do to her if he found out what she did? Found out she not only kissed someone before marriage, but a _woman_ no less. What would Carlisle think? He would be embarrassed and angry. She was committing sin. Her _life _was a sin: Murder, being with someone of the same sex, being this—this _monster_.

The pretty blonde eyed her curiously, a patient smile on her face. The bar was slow. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. She thought her customer must be having a shitty day to be at a bar this early. The only other people were low-lives, the people who drank till they woke up and till they passed out. But her customer didn't seem like that.

Bella imagined pulling the blonde over the bar by her collar and biting into her neck. Maybe letting her blood spurt into a shot glass and tipping it back like the scotch in front of her. She shook her head roughly and pulled some money out of her pocket (that she pickpocketed from a man on the street) and set it on the counter. She threw back the last shot and smiled uncomfortably at the woman. "Thanks, but no thanks." The girl frowned, but Bella didn't feel guilty. The longer she sat there, the louder the blonde's pulse got, the pounding of her heart sounding like drums. It was too much.

She stood outside, letting the breeze cool her down. She walked far away from the bar, away from the desire to tear that young woman's throat out, away from the desire to kiss Rosalie until her head spun. She walked until there wasn't a purpose anymore, just wandering aimlessly, unsure where to go. Going home was out of the questions, but if not there, then where? She had no one, nowhere to go. She was so confused. She shouldn't be confused, she knew that. What she did was wrong, but it certainly didn't _feel _wrong. She liked Rosalie a lot; she was a trusting, loyal friend. She may be oblivious to most social customs, but that certainly wasn't what friends did. But did it feel _wrong_? No. But guilt weighed heavily down on her, and why else would she feel guilty if not for doing something she knew she shouldn't?

And then her answer stood right in front of her. Knowing they could only help, she stepped into the church for the second time in her undead life. She walked to the confessional, pausing before opening the door. Where would she start? She supposed she should start with the basics. She opened the door and sat down. She signed the cross and began.

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

Rosalie was almost offended at the way Alice blamed her. "What did _you _do?" It takes two to tango. But she couldn't work up the emotion to be actually offended, because she was right. It was her fault. Bella was the victim in this, the innocent, trusting victim who Rosalie took advantage of.

"I asked her why she said no," Rosalie started quietly. She let out a shaky laugh. "She said it was because she wasn't good enough for him. That she would corrupt him. Can you believe that? I was so angry; angry that after all that time we spent together, me trying to prove that she _was _enough, that she still thought that she wasn't. I didn't understand why she couldn't see what I could see. And then I just grabbed her…" She trailed off, ashamed to say it out loud.

Alice frowned. "And then what happened?"

"She ran."

"But _why_?" Alice questioned. "That's so sweet!"

Rosalie growled in frustration. "I'm her friend, that's why! I've been by her side, supporting her, for the past couple of months. How would you feel if Edward kissed you?" They both scrunched up their noses. "See? Bella and I are just friends. I was angry that she didn't realize how amazing she was. She's so strong and nice and beautiful and I just let my _goddamn _emotions rule me like some fucking newborn and she ran away." Rosalie rubbed her face in frustration. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Is _this _why we broke up?" Emmett asked hesitantly, recalling decades ago. "Because you're gay?"

Rosalie glared. "We broke up because you're a child. And I'm _not _gay!"

"But you just—"

"Shut _up_, Emmett," both Rosalie and Alice snapped.

Emmett grumbled and crossed his arms. "Well what are you going to do then?"

"I don't know."

* * *

"It's been a while since I last confessed." She figured that was safer than saying three hundred years, give or take. "I don't know exactly why I'm here, to be honest. I've committed many sins, yes, but I also lost my faith a long time ago. Partly because of my father, but also because of who I am. It's almost like I can hear him now, telling me to repent. Maybe he guided me here. He never liked me very much. I just learned he didn't like my brother very much either. I suppose I should get on with it, shouldn't I? I'm stalling." She laughed, but the laughter died quickly. "I did something very bad, Father. I didn't know who else to turn to, because my brother would be ashamed. A very good friend of mine kissed me today. It may not seem that bad, but she is a woman. The bible says that's a sin. Man was created for woman. But at this point in my life, does it even matter? I'm a monster. I've done terrible things. I don't think kissing a girl would make it any worse. Perhaps if I had a soul and I cared about going to heaven, I would be worried. But I don't have a soul. I think the only reason I was scared in the first place was because of my father. It all comes back to him, doesn't it? I just want to please him. He's been dead for a very long time, so why do I still bother?" She sighed. "It wasn't unpleasant when I kissed her. I actually quite liked it. What does this mean?"

She waited patiently. It was a lot to take in. None of it probably made sense. After a couple of minutes of silence she finally asked, "Father?" There was no answer. That was when she looked at the screen between them. There was no shadow. Great. She sighed and left the confessional.

She had nowhere else to go. She heaved another sigh and started to walk home.

She walked up the driveway slowly, taking her time. When she took the steps, Esme met her at the door with a gentle smile. Bella could hear no one in the house.

"Where is everybody?" Bella asked, closing the door behind her.

"Carlisle got called into work and the rest are hunting." She laughed. "They all had golden eyes when they left, so who knows what they're actually doing."

Bella had a feeling. "I'll be in my room. When they come back, can you tell them I don't want to be disturbed?"

Esme frowned and reached her hand out, placing it comfortingly on her shoulder. "Is something wrong, Bella?"

There was no point lying. "Yeah, but I'll get over it." She patted Esme's hand with a smile. "I'll be fine," she assured over her shoulder as she walked away. Was that a lie? She wasn't sure.

She knew Esme told them, but obviously Rosalie didn't listen as she knocked on her door hours later. She contemplated letting her in. She forced herself off her bed and unlocked the door. She looked through the crack between the door and the frame and stared at Rosalie expectantly.

She wasted no time. "Look, Bella, I know I should be giving you space, but I really think we should talk."

Bella looked conflicted. She shut the door and grabbed her coat off her bed. Rosalie looked absolutely defeated when she opened the door again, and Bella realized maybe she shouldn't have shut it in the first place. She brightened up when she saw her though and Bella motioned for Rosalie to follow her. If they were going to talk, it certainly wouldn't be around prying ears. Ahem, Alice.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Rosalie said as soon as they were far enough away from the house. "I don't know what I was thinking—that's exactly it, I _wasn't _thinking and I'm so sorry! Please forgive me Bella; I don't know what I would do without your friendship."

"Do you want to know why I ran?"

Rosalie frowned. "Because I forced myself onto you?" Her face creased with worry. "I'm really sorry—"

"I know," Bella interrupted. "I know you're sorry. And I forgive you. If it were anybody else I would have kicked their ass," She took a step forward and grasped Rosalie's hand. "but it was you, and I forgive you."

"…Why did you run, Bella?" Rosalie asked her voice small.

"I want you to know that I'm scared, and I'm putting myself out here right now, and you of all people know that I'm going through a lot of stuff, and I know you are too, but I feel like we could work it out together."

"_Why did you run, Bella?" _There was the tiniest glimmer of hope in her voice.

"I'm so scared, Rosalie," Bella murmured, using her free hand to wipe her eyes. "I like you so much. I ran because I liked that you kissed me. I probably liked it too much."

"Oh, Bella," she whispered. Untangling their hands, she placed both hands on the brunette's face to kiss her.

Bella pulled away with a whimper. "Rosalie. I—"

"Shh," Rosalie wrapped her arms around Bella's waist. "Everything's going to be okay." She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm scared too, but everything's going to be okay. I promise."

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**Author's Note: **Like I said before, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this chapter. Did you guys like it?


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's note: **This chapter is dedicated to Apathicus because s/he wanted more angst. Did I succeed?

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She wondered idly where they went from here as she pressed herself firmly to Rosalie's side. She had never been in a real relationship. The only one Rosalie had ever been in was with an asshole. Would they be able to stay in a stable, healthy relationship? Did Bella want to? She could still hear _his _voice as she hugged the blonde. All she wanted to do was love this beautiful woman, the woman who took the time to care for Bella, who helped her somewhat move on. But how could she possibly do that when every time she looked into her eyes, she felt dirty. She felt judged. Normally she wouldn't give a shit, but the judging eyes weren't just any human's, but her father's_. _And even as a soulless monster, she still wanted to make her father proud.

"I don't know if I can do this, Rose," she whispered. "I don't know _how _to do this."

"And you think I do?" Rosalie pulled out of her grasp. "Don't start doubting now, Bella. We haven't even tried yet!"

"It's a sin!" she yelled. "We aren't some fucking star crossed lovers! This isn't a fucking Shakespeare play. We aren't some fourteen year olds dicking around. No, we're tempting God! We are going against his will! All my father ever wanted for me was salvation, and I was doing a pretty damn good job until I became this _monster_. Even though I am this bloodsucking piece of shit, I still tried to make the best of my situation. And then _you_ came along in all of your fucking blonde glory and you had to—"

"Don't you dare!" Rosalie interrupted. She leaned close, causing Bella to flinch. "You always do this, Bella! Sabotage yourself. You don't think you're good enough so you make up these excuses, going so far as to manifest your father in your mind. But we've been over this, Bella. You are good enough. I think you're good enough. And who gives a shit about the fucking Bible right now? I love you and that's all that matters."

Bella bit her lip. "You…what?"

"What? Do you want me to repeat it? Because I can."

"That's foolish of you," she deemed.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "What else is new? Now stop fucking doubting yourself and let's at least give this a shot before you friend-zone me."

"Friend-zone? Is that a place or something…?"

She gave her an incredulous look. "You're kidding me, right? You've seen more movies than I have and you don't know what the friend-zone is?"

Bella grinned. "I'm joking. And I think I love you too."

"Well that's something," she murmured as she once again pulled the brunette close.

Carlisle wasn't an idiot. He knew something was up. He didn't live four hundred odd years to not know when there was something wrong with his sister. Well, that's not entirely true. In his human life he was oblivious to her pain, and while Bella may not be good at lying to other people, she was always good at lying to herself. She was so convinced that what she got was what she deserved that she hid the pain well. But things were different now. He had sharper senses, and centuries of observing under his belt.

It had been a week since the whole Emmett fiasco. Emmett didn't seem bothered at all that she rejected him. He actually moved on rather quickly. It made Carlisle suspicious. He wondered if the whole thing was a hoax, Emmett not actually caring about her, but instead wanting to get into her pants. And if he didn't want to kick his ass before (when he dared to go on a date with her the first time _and not tell him_), he certainly wanted to now. The only thing that stopped him was that Bella would be pissed. She would yell at him that she could take care of herself and that she didn't need her big brother to fight her battles. She survived this long without him, hadn't she? And then she would punch _him_, just to show that she could.

Carlisle tapped his pen on his coffee cup. He didn't drink the coffee, but it smelled pleasant and the warmth was comforting. The coffee was cold now and he thought vaguely that he should go grab more, but his mind was too busy with thoughts of Bella and the rhythm of the pen on the ceramic was a welcomed noise in his otherwise quiet office.

Bella was spending a lot of time with Rosalie lately. It didn't bother him. He actually enjoyed the thought of his sister and "daughter" bonding. Rosalie had always been so cold, never really enjoyed life. He knew she held a grudge against him and he felt the guilt of changing her every day. She had nothing to live for. She looked at life cynically and he thought maybe when she saved Emmett that things had changed. He saw the sparkle in her eye as she laid him very gently down in front of him all those years ago. And they had even dated for a while, but it was more one sided. Emmett dated while Rosalie mothered him. Rosalie came to her senses, realizing she wasn't in love with him, but loved the idea of him. He reminded her of her friend's baby, the one she could never have. So she promptly broke it off.

And then Bella came along. He had never seen Rosalie so determined, not since she ran through the forest with a mauled Emmett in her arms. She wanted to help. And she did. She helped Bella so much that Carlisle could never repay her. While Carlisle was at work, Rosalie helped Bella overcome problems he never knew about. Problems he _should _have known about and problems he should have been there to help. Not her. And yes, he was jealous. He wished he could have had such a trusting relationship with her. But things were still strained. And while they had loosened up since the night in the forest, Bella still resented him for leaving. They talked and he tried to bond with her, but there was still an undertone of awkwardness between them. It was like old friends catching up after years, not really knowing what to say, just polite small talk. It was his mission to get Bella to be comfortable around him and little by little it was working. With each passing day she realized that he wasn't going to leave her again.

But this wasn't really about him and Bella. It may have been, in the beginning. He viewed it as a story of them reconciling after years, but it never was about them, was it? It was about her and Rosalie.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He looked up when there was a knock at his door. Esme walked in with a small smile on her face, a brown paper bag in her hand. She had surprised him, something that didn't happen often. He realized how deep in his thoughts he must have been.

"I brought you lunch," she said. He laughed. Distractedly, she noted. She wondered what was wrong, and asked him as much. She set the bag on his desk. He would give it to a patient later. She pulled back his chair and smoothly maneuvered her way onto his lap, tucking her head into his shoulder.

"Hmm?" she prompted. "Long day?"

He bit his lip. "Something like that…Can I ask you a question?"

"No," she joked. "What's on your mind?"

"Do you think…" He frowned. This was a conversation he particularly didn't want to talk about. But he could tell Esme anything. "Do you think maybe there is something going on with Bella and Rosalie?"

She giggled, taking him by surprise. The giggle turned into a full blown laugh and she fell off his chair. He crossed his arms.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, sweetie," she said in a pitying tone. "Did you just find out?"

He glared. "When did _you_ find out?" He thought about offering his hand to pull her up, but he was kind of pissed.

She grinned and leaned back on her elbows. "When they first met. I've never seen Rosalie so flustered."

"So…so…" He slumped against his desk, his head thumping against the hardwood. He pulled at his hair. "I don't even know how to react to this."

"Don't you think it's sweet?" Esme smiled wistfully. "I'm so happy Rosalie found someone." She grinned teasingly. "She was getting to be a real buzz kill."

"I don't think this is the time to joke, Esme!"

Esme sighed and stood up. She pulled him by the shoulders, making him rest against the leather of his swivel chair. She tapped his chin so he'd look up and she smiled down at him. "You know, keep acting like this and you can have Bella's gay crisis for her."

He pulled out of her grasp and stood up angrily. He started to pace back and forth. "I just want her to be happy…but with another woman?" He sighed and looked at Esme. His expression was so pained that Esme stopped smiling and pulled him into a hug. "Is it so wrong that after all these years I just want my father's approval? I looked after Bella all my human life. She was what made it worth living. When he beat me I suffered through it because I know if I didn't, he would take it out on her. I just keep imagining how he would react. It's pure instinct to tell Bella no, that it's not right; you know what he'll do. He'll hold her head down in holy water and then whip her with his belt. I just want him to look at both of us with a sense of pride, not distain. And with what we've become, how could he possibly look at us without anything but disgust?"

"Carlisle," she murmured. She pulled him close. There was nothing to say that he didn't already know. So for now she held him and he was content to be held.

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**Author's note: **Feels, anyone?


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